Do You Have What It Takes?

When you read that, what did you think of first? The muscle? The brain? The education? The technical skills?

You may need any of those things for any given achievement. If you’re trying to become a pro basketball player, you’ll need muscle. If you’re trying to get a college degree, you’ll need brain. If you want to become a plumber, you’ll need education, and if you want to be a lab tech, you’ll need technical skills.

But there’s one thing you’ll need no matter what you’re trying to accomplish, and that’s patience.

As Shakespeare said: “How poor are they that ha’ not patience! / What wound did ever heal but by degrees? / Thou know’st we work by wit and not by witchcraft, / And wit depends on dilatory time.” [Othello, II:3]

“Dilatory” means “tending or intended to cause delay,” and this quality of time – or the time it takes to do something worthwhile – can’t be bent. Whatever you’re attempting, it will take as long as it takes. By wit, he means using your head, not relying on “witchcraft,” magical formulas, or wishful thinking. There is no magic that can make it happen. It takes thought, planning, and determination, and yes, these all require time.

So whatever the task at hand – accomplishing something in your career, grieving a loss or death, rearing your children, or forging bonds with a new partner – it will take time, and therefore it will take patience.

And here’s what is sometimes the hardest part. The word “patience” comes from the Latin “pati” to suffer. All the meanings of patience in the dictionary let you know something is going to be required of you that magic can’t circumvent:

·Bearing pains or trials calmly or without complaint
·Manifesting forbearance under provocation or strain
·Not hasty or impetuous
·Steadfast despite opposition, difficult or adversity
·Able or willing to bear

Patience relies on resilience, an Emotional Intelligence competency, because the definition is full of trials, pains and opposition. Resilience means being able to tolerate loss, setbacks, rejections and adversity and being able to bounce back, without losing your hope and enthusiasm for the future.

Patience is particularly necessary when you are working with other people to accomplish something, which is becoming more the norm all the time. In fact we never really accomplish something alone. It takes patience to convince others, to coordinate efforts, to work out the politics, to forge a team. If you lack Emotional Intelligence, and therefore let your emotions get the better of you, you will give in to the frustration and obstacles. In order to have patience, you must be able to understand and manage your own emotions and those of others, because in every task there are setbacks and challenges, and people can become discouraged.

Patience, pazienza, Geduld, paciencia, la patience … in today’s multicultural world, we are going to need more and more.

“Ask the experienced, not the learned,” say the Arabs, because the “wit” Shakespeare talks about comes with the diligence of time and patience, not just book learning. There are things in every field and every endeavor we can only learn through the patience of time.

You can make haste in beginning what you want to accomplish. It is said that the famous French Marshall Lyautey once asked his gardener to plant a tree. The gardener complained it was a slow-growing tree that wouldn’t reach maturity for 100 years. The Marshall allegedly replied, “In that case, there is no time to lose. Plant it this afternoon!”

Whatever you’ve set out to accomplish, don’t waste any time beginning. But once you have started, remember that it will take patience, which requires “wit” and not “witchcraft.” Keep your eye on the goal, keep your head about you, manage your emotions, and be willing to persevere.