Women, Emotions and Leadership

Women’s greater emotional capacity can both enhance and hinder our leadership ability. I know it’s a generalization to say that women are more emotional and there are exceptions to every rule. Yet, most of us have experienced the old adage that “hell hath no wrath like a woman scorned”. Additionally, there is research to confirm that, on average, women are more emotional, which validates our personal experiences. As women wanting an opportunity to serve as leaders there is hope. The answer is in self-awareness followed by good self-management.

I thought about this when receiving an email from a young woman that I have mentored over the years. She gave me an update on her career, reporting the large number of women managers in her office.

First, she praised their superior ability bond with their employees, creating loyalty. She also said that they are more open, accessible and provide better feedback. The downside, however, is that the office is often plagued with emotional intensity, which can get in the way of getting the job done.

Studies prove this and one is particularly interesting: After analyzing 360-degree assessments of more than 6,000 managers, it showed that women received higher evaluations than men in 28 of 31 leadership attributes. These attributes included problem solving, controlling, leading, communicating, and more.

The biggest problem for women was managing self. Of the 31 behaviors, the worst rated was “coping with one’s own frustrations.” Emotions can build up the relationship but they can also tear it down. Research also shows that it takes at least five positive comments to offset a negative one. So women need to be aware that their strength can be their weakness, unless it is self-managed.

If you find yourself under stress and ready to blow, here are a couple of tips:

1. Take some deep breaths – It is especially good if you inhale through your mouth and exhale through your nose. A few minutes of this breathing will cool you down and keep you from over-reacting.
   
2. Analyze your thoughts – It isn’t what the other person said but rather how you interpreted their comment. Ignore any thoughts that their words devalue you and you’ll be able to move forward positively.
   

Using emotions can be a leadership benefit for women. If we put ourselves in another’s shoes and understand with how they feel, it inspires affection and develops a loyal following. When I was working in a corporate environment, I considered empathy my strongest leadership attribute and I often received feedback as to how important it was to those who worked with me. With self-awareness, you can use your emotions to develop the upside, as long as you practice good self-management to restrict the downside. Can you feel this to be true?