The Beatles once sang, "all you need is love." In life this is true and it certainly helps during a job search, but it is not all you need. However, tough love is a good start. A job search is tough. Few candidates are prepared for what happens in a job search. Few have had any formal training. Some will get help with their resume. Some will reach out to friends and family for guidance, but there is a whole lot more to a job search than the tactics and mechanics of the resume, networking and interviewing.
There are two enemies in most job searches that rarely get discussed. One candidates have to deal with, and few are prepared to handle is, "TIME." Many enter unemployment totally unprepared for the length of time a job search takes and how slow and long the hiring process is. They have one time frame and the company has a completely different set of priorities and time frame.
The other biggest enemy is, "themselves." As time passes and frustration sets in they start questioning themselves and their abilities. The have also gone through all the contacts in their network, have been doing the same thing over and over again for months with little results, and they are burned out. Now what?
The best thing you can do for yourself at this point is get what we refer to as an accountability partner. Accountability is something as adults we hate. That is why most can't wait to become adults. We all want to get away from this word. We want to do what we want, when we want, how we want and without anyone holding us accountable. Fine for life, but not a good thing in a job search.
An accountability partner needs to be selected very carefully. They need to be someone you respect and trust. Someone blunt and direct, who will tell it like it is, especially when you don't want to hear it. They should not be a friend or family member.
This is where the tough love enters the picture.
A good accountability partner will help you. They are not here to become your friend or buddy. Get a dog if that is what you are seeking. Their job is to encourage you when you're down and motivate you when you just don't want to go to another networking meeting or send another resume. Their job is to kick you (figuratively not literally) in the appropriate place when encouragement and motivation don't work as well as hoped. A good accountability partner knows the right buttons to push and when to push them.
They must be a person you can open up with about your job search and what is happening to you on the inside and even in your personal life. They are someone who will empathize with you, console you, feel your pain, be understanding, compassionate, never hit you when you're down, but instead picks you up, dusts you off and when all of this is completed, kicks you in the appropriate place and gets you going again.
A good accountability partner will listen to you. They will know the differences between an excuse and a real obstacle. They may be able to provide some resources to help you out when you are stalled. They won't accept excuses. They will listen to them and then kick you in the appropriate place and get you back on track.
A good accountability partner is somewhat like a good drill sergeant in the military. You hate them while you are in boot camp, but you also know that they have your best interests in mind for the upcoming battle. They are successful if, at the end of the battle, you look back and say, "Thanks, you really helped me get through this." Oh, you may still hate them, but you surely respect them.
They may or may not end up being your friend. That isn't important. What is important is that you want to refer them to every person you meet in-transition.
Finding an accountability partner (even if you have to pay one) willing to give you "TOUGH LOVE" during your search may be the best thing you do for your job search, yourself and your family.
We encourage your comments and feedback.Brad Remillard
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