Don't Put Me on Hold

"Why do you always lie when you leave a message on the answering machine?” The voice on the machine belonged to my youngest daughter. “ I know you’re not writing at 10 at night.” She was right. I had lied. I felt a small prick of guilt. The fact is I hate answering machines, particularly when I'm trying to reach someone. The anger we experience too frequently when we get a recorded message comes from frustration from trying to break through an impenetrable wall. It's a wall created by businesses and organizations to prevent us from ever getting help from a human. The time we once saved by telephoning is now spent on hold. When we call a business with more than two employees we seldom talk to a human unless we have first punched in a series of numbers which add up to the final figure in the federal budget. I expect that that one unhappy day soon should my house catch fire and I have to call the local fire department I will get the following message: “Thank you for calling your community fire department, your tax supported service for help in the event of a fire or medical emergency. We are here to serve your needs. For Spanish press one. For English press two. For any other language, press three. Your call will be answered in the order in which it has been recieved."