Everybody has moments where they are not at the best when it comes to meeting people. You do not have to enroll in night school to understand that. But you are having a hard time figuring out what is their problem.
Your date just dismissed it as being oversensitive so there is no need for you to go down that road anymore. Even when in your opinion it has been direct and blatant they still find some way to dismiss it and lay the blame at your feet.
At first you tried to take their point of view and do a little self examination. You admit that you have been known to jump the gun on occasion. But you also are very good at analyzing and making the necessary course correction.
But upon review it is clear that the fault is not yours. The bottom line is your dating partner's friends are rude towards you and at times it turns into downright nastiness.
What gives? You have always tried to be civil. You're not a control freak. It's not like you got among his friends and tried to dominate the conversation or the activities. You go along with what the crowd wants to do. You are also a pretty good listener.
And what you are hearing in no uncertain terms is your date's friends do not like you. The question is why?
1. New Kid in Town
You are not one of the gang. You never said you were. Neither did they nor do they want you to be. This is a closed group and membership is by voice vote and unanimous invitation only. They tolerate you because that's how strongly they feel about their friend who happens to be your dating partner. Other than that you don't belong.
2. Just One of Those Things
Call it personality clash or just a bad first impression but whatever it was there is no going back to repair it. They have made their ruling and the verdict is you are unlikable. Maybe that decision will change somewhere down the line but for right now that's the way it goes.
3. Previous Rotten
They tried to give the benefit of the doubt to some of your date's former partners. It didn't work. Not only was the person nasty and combative towards them but they watched as that same person wound up breaking your date's heart. Now it's totally unfair but due to those past relationships they have already prejudged you.
4. The Takeaway
They don't see you as someone there to join the group. They see you as someone there to take their friend away. You and your date do not always go out with the group (nor should you) and in their eyes that means a member of the family is leaving home. They want no parts of that so they resent whoever is the culprit.
Even if you made a public announcement stating how important you feel it is for your date to maintain his or her friendships; that won't cut it. You are not only an interloper but a thief as well.
Sometimes the hardest part of dating relationships is not the one on one encounter of two people or even meeting each other's families. It's the friend circle. They can make it rough for their buddy to stay in any relationship.
Worst still is they shield your date from the scorn they heap on you with extreme pleasure. It's very destructive behavior to the point that you have to ask yourself is the whole relationship worth it?
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