How to Keep Things Real When Dating Your Ex Even After a Painful Breakup

Dating your ex after a breakup may be a little bit awkward at first. You both want to keep things pleasant and you may be going to extraordinary measures to avoid making waves and really rocking the boat. What are some things you can do that will help you keep the peace without exploding from too much "niceness" along the way?

1) Learn how to start a conversation about sticky topics. This is a tough one and may be the reason you had trouble to begin with the first time around. You've probably heard of the old adage that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. There's a little bit of truth to it and one of the big problems that couples have is learning to communicate problems without coming across as overly critical. It's important and something that the two of you would do well to work on together.

2) Learn how to fight fair. All couples fight. It's not a sign that you don't love each other or are losing the joy of being together again. It's part of loving someone and being close to them. The key is to fight fair and choose your words carefully. Make sure you're fighting with the person that is the problem. If you're mad at coworkers, family members, or children don't bring that anger to the fight. Keep it fair and you'll both be better off.

3) Create a clean slate. If you're going to start over you have to literally start over. Old hurts and wounds should be erased. If they are still causing problems you need to address them before you take one step forward towards dating again or you'll be doomed before you get off the ground. This also means that you can't bring something that happened two years ago into the fight you have next month. A clean slate means the old problems are gone and you've truly started over.

4) Don't be shy about letting your ex know there's a problem. No one can fix a problem he or she isn't aware of. Your ex needs to know if there's something amiss. Don't expect your ex to read your mind. That's one of the biggest mistakes couples make. They assume that the other person know what's on their mind. This is not the way things work. If you don't tell your ex what's going on in your head there is no way he or she can know there's a problem. This is critical to making things work a second time around.