Cheated in the past? It's a real downer on even the "best" of relationships. Nothing kills trust faster for most men than finding out his girlfriend has been cheating on him.
Your guy just found out that you cheated on him. His head is spinning and he can't really decide yet if he's mad at you,
mad at the other guy, jealous, or just extremely hurt. Needless to say this isn't the best day your relationship has had.
That doesn't mean that your relationship is over. You're probably going through a wild ride on the emotional roller coaster yourself. You're relieved that there's no more hiding and sneaking around. You're afraid that this will be the end for you.
You might even be sad by knowing that one of these relationships is going to have to end. More than anything else though you might be a little confused as to what you really want to happen now that the truth is out there.
Put a Little Pavement Between You
The first thing you need to do is get a little distance between the two of you (and that other guy). You need time to sort through your emotions and figure out which one is the man for you.
Your guy needs to find out how he feels about the fact that you've cheated and whether or not his changes how he feels about you or how he feels about your relationship.
A little distance lets you be honest with yourselves so that you can be honest with each other when the time comes. If he doesn't demand that space front and center you need to be the one who insists on it for the sake of any relationship you might want to have together in the future.
Stop Fighting to Win the Argument
When you are together and you do fight, don't fight to win the argument. Look at the big picture instead. Fighting to win only leads to escalation and the scars of this type of fighting are deep and painful. These are the types of scars that are brought back up in later fights and the knife just keeps getting twisted in old wounds.
Stop the insanity! Yes ladies. You heard it here. Let him win the fight. It might be exactly what needs to happen so that both of you can win the war.
Turn up the Flattery and give his Ego a Boost
Believe it or not, most guys are powerless against this. It's their Kryptonite. You want to get him back on board to save the relationship and really work things out between the two of you?
Let him know why he's the better man. Tell him why you love him more. Laugh at his goofy jokes (even though they are about as funny as soggy Corn Flakes). Laugh loud, long, and hard. Even if he sees through it he'll appreciate the effort.
The most important benefit of this is not that you are stroking his ego (which honestly doesn't hurt). It's that you are telling him through your actions that you love him better.
You're telling him that you are in his corner and that makes him feel good. That, feeling good, is what you want for him more than anything if you really do love him enough to make things work.
