Is there such a thing as perfect compatibility? No. Then why do some many people insist on pursuing it only to wind up heartbroken?
No doubt you have come across one of those reality TV shows where a contestant must choose a dating or potential marriage partner from the multiple candidates they are presented with. After a weeding out process where we get to witness the good, bad and not so pleasant get sent packing, the contestant picks their Mr or Miss Right. Both parties share in the glow of love and television arc lights. Meanwhile they vow to make things work before the credits start to roll and another season comes to a close.
Maybe they are sincere and really do try to make things works but more often and not tucked away on some entertainment news website, you read that it just didn't work. Turns out after the cameras stopped rolling, they came to the conclusion they were not compatible.
Of course that sort of thing happens to a lot of couples whether they have their own reality series or not. However like television, too many people get caught up in the moment. The rush of emotions makes them believe they have found the person who can fill their expectations.
It is nothing out of the ordinary to set an agenda as to what you want in a dating relationship or your future spouse. That's as it should be. But there is the rub. Far too many expectations are based more on an idea than actual reality.
Wanting a person to be warm, caring, intelligent, humorous and be gainfully employed is a good thing and it's more than okay to refuse to settle for less. Yet it doesn't stop there for many of us. How caring is the other person, are they caring at the right times i.e. the exact times you want them to be? They seem intelligent but can they pass your own personal IQ test? Sure they have a working knowledge of quantum physics but they sure seem shaky on that whole theory of relativity thing.
Then there's the job situation. They have been steadily employed, like their job, pay all their bills on time and have a health savings account. That's not enough. You want them to get a better job and a healthier savings account. This present state in your opinion shows a definite lack of ambition. In your eyes they are one step away from living in the homeless shelter.
One of the bedrocks of building and growing a relationship is the ability to let the other person be who they are. Even if they give it everything they've got, there is no way they will ever be exactly what you want them to be. The only thing that will happen is they will make themselves miserable trying.
Do yourself a favor and except their worth and value. It doesn't mean you lower your standards to the point you wind up dating a jerk or jerkette. It does mean you give yourself a break and climb down from the top of that mountain; the one that only you can reach.
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