How to write a failing essay

Writing a failing essay is not as easy as it might seem at first. You need to violate a lot of basic principles to obtain a desired F. However, if you are persistent enough you will achieve the result by sticking to the following recommendations. 

Do not take the trouble to read all the essay instructions. The name of the topic and a few keywords you manage to single out when looking through the instructions out of the corner of your eye should suffice for a failing essay.

Do not go to such lengths as visiting a library. Why should you bother wasting several hours of your time there if everything can be found on the Internet? Another useful tip is to use free Internet encyclopedias. They are sure to provide you with information which is fragmented, irrelevant to some extent and non-referenced so that you are one step closer to failing. 

Do not bother with writing an introduction and a conclusion and with careful organization of your thoughts. Just copy everything you have found online so that your essay is definitely plagiarized. Engaging in plagiarism is sure to produce a failing grade even if you do not follow the other recommendations in this article. 

The references should be either non-existent (both in-text ones and bibliography) or contain only irrelevant sources. Do not take the trouble to follow the required writing style as it will add about ten more points to your grade and may prevent you from achieving an F. 

Finally, never hand in the essay on time. Late submissions have points deducted automatically, which is also useful in getting the lowest grade possible.  

As a former college assistant professor I can assure you that following these recommendations will be enough to produce a failing piece of work. If you do it several times you may even flunk the whole course which is even more exciting.