Learn How to Win

We are born to be happy, to contribute to our world, to enjoy life. I am sure this is our predestination. Why then do I see so many unhappy and dissatisfied people around me? What makes them unhappy and dissatisfied? The most probable answer will be – problems, all kinds of ranging from the minor ones to very serious.  Problems are inevitable, in fact as long as you have problems you are alive. So, let’s take a different look at difficulties that life has in store for us.

 “Winners” view problems as some valuable life experience to draw useful conclusions. The main rule of “winners “is the thesis:  “there are no defeats, but there is a feedback”. Such life approach allows them to acquire severe life lessons more easily and advance to their aim. 

The second rule of “winners” is to use strategy “Moving toward…” instead of “running from“. It will help you to get rid of the feeling of failure and direct your thoughts into a more constructive area. Avoid fixing your thoughts on negative situation even if you formulate your position in the affirmative. In the life of every person there are moments when trouble gives birth to something useful.  There are  periods when   you don’t see the light side of life,  that is where  the third  rule of the winner  works  - Concentrate on your resources  not on the  obstacles. To gain more confidence in your capabilities recollect your past successes and achievements. You can apply a number of ways for achieving it, but for a start do a simple exercise, it is called “My Sun“ (found at http://cruzcat.ucsc.edu/search/dPersonality). Take a blank sheet of paper and draw a circle.   It is your sun, but it is not shining yet, as it has no rays.  You can light up this sun but you have to draw its rays.  The rays of this sun are your accomplishments.  Every ray is an episode from your life which you recollect with pride.  For example when you were at college the tutor praised you for writing a comparison contrast essay which impressed her very much, so you can draw a ray and write "essay" on it.  Awards, prizes, successful business contract, solved puzzle - thee are no limitations in this exercise.  The main thing is to draw as many rays as possible, at least ten.  If you can easily draw twenty rays – there is no need to worry for you – you have made a solid base for your future success.

The fourth rule of “winners” - Focus on the present and future, not on the past.  You cannot change your past.  It is a scientific fact and as the scientists have not invented time machine yet, all we can do is to learn a lesson from your past. But to live in the past, especially if it is tinctured with negative emotions is sheer nonsense.  Life is so short and while we are thinking about our past torments, we fall out of the present and do nothing for our glorious future.  Just after analyzing your mistakes and correcting your life behavior, get out of your head everything that you consider to be your failures. Formulate your actions in the affirmative form: “Now in such a situation I will…” Our past can be a great source of inspiration and motivation for our future.  Past can be different.  Some periods are gloomy and dark, filled with losses and defeats; others shine with joy and smell with happiness. Recollecting such events are even desirable. They give us powerful resources of positive emotions and we need to learn to use them correctly. The fifth rule of “winner”: Look for positive in everything”. Every people traditionally have its own sources of wisdom for dealing with the most difficult trials of fate. That is what English proverb says:” Every cloud has a silver lining”.