Behaviour that Ruins a Marriage

Prominent in the list of annoying habits that have caused marital breakup figured the habit of putting fingers into the nose, leaving the toilet seat up, squeezing the toothpaste in the middle, or repulsive table manners. The most irritating thing about an annoying habit is that though they are extremely minor, they are potentially strong enough to break a marriage. Annoying Habits Break a Marriage? Every person has some irritating habit or the other, and people generally take long to change. Some tolerant spouses just grin and bear the irritating habits of their mate. Their marriages are safe and sure to last a lifetime. However, I find that such ‘patient partners’ are a rare tribe, for accepting irritating habits is extremely difficult. In spite of repeated requests, if your spouse refuses to change you are most likely to explode in anger the next time you witness the annoying habit. Ultimately, a stage would reach where no matter how hard you shout, your partner might persist with the old habits. When such a deadlock arises, you have to:

• Identify if you are angered by the habit or the disregard shown to your words
• Talk calmly and try to reason it out
• If your partner makes effort to change, then notice and appreciate it
• If your spouse refuses to change in spite of repeated pleadings, then there is some other deeper issue that has to be tackled with professional counselling.

At times, some people are too obstinate to change and such obstinacy gets reflected in other realms too. Your adamant partner might behave independently and reach decisions without soliciting your opinion. ependent Behaviour of Spouse Some decisions might greatly affect your life, but your spouse would not have even bothered to inform you or consider your feelings. Some people are so accustomed to independent living that they refuse to change their habits even after marriage. Unfortunately, they fail to realise that by living together, every decision reached, has an impact on the entire family. Like annoying habits, these independent decisions might also be minor. For example, your spouse might go out playing tennis on a fine Sunday morning, disregarding your wishes to accompany you to your parent’s house. Or you might be spending hours all alone, while your partner engages in online conversation. Your spouse is totally unaware of the pain caused to you; rather, the tennis game or online conversation is found quite pleasing. As independent behaviour is an ignorance-induced conduct, talking it out with your spouse will help, and both of you should decide to act after consulting each other. Any activity that affects the other should be performed after joint consultation. However, annoying habits and independent behaviour are minor issues and couples can solve them with a little negotiation. Unfortunately, there are some major concerns which destroy marriage quickly like dishonesty and lying. usal Dishonesty Honesty is the basis for a marriage. If one partner were to lie to the other and if the other is dishonest in retaliation, you can well imagine what a situation it would be. Usually, people do not have an intention to cheat their spouse; rather, they are dishonest to prevent hurting their partner. For example, some mistake of yours in the past would have been a shameful event. You would prefer to hide it, rather than reveal the unpleasant details and hurt your spouse. If your spouse finds it out some time in the future, it might become a serious issue and destroy your marriage. Truth always gets exposed; it cannot be kept hidden permanently. Never use dishonesty to protect yourself. If you tell your spouse of your past mistakes, you might have an argument, but you would also be building trust in your relationship. Majority of the marriages are afflicted by these three issues:

• Of holding firm to annoying habits
• Indulging in behaviour disregarding spousal interests and
• Using lies to protect oneself

Get rid of these negative traits immediately. It may take time to get over irritating habits. Nevertheless, make the effort, your spouse will appreciate you for it. Marriage is a situation of joint partnership. Independent behaviour on major as well as minor issues that affect one another should be avoided. Eliminate obstinacy, independence and dishonesty from your relationship, before it destroys your marriage.