"Divorce Reasons; What Constitutes A Viable Reason For Thinking About Or Wanting A Divorce?"

According to the Center for DiseaseControl's National Vital StatisticsReport of 2002, 50% of first marriagesended in divorce and 60% ofremarriages end in divorce. But, theCenter for Disease Control also foundthat 96% of Americans express apersonal desire for marriage, andalmost three-quarters of Americansbelieve marriage is a life longcommitment.I imagine that there are somewhatsimilar statistics worldwide.With these kinds of statistics, itseasy to see how complex it can be whenpeople think they want a divorce, theyhave difficulty identifying how atruly viable divorce reason might bedefined. Wanting happiness throughmarriage and wrestling with what mayseem an inevitable outcome (divorce),can be emotionally and mentallychallenging.After all, it is human nature to wantto feel nurtured and secure, no matterwhere you live!So, if you're thinking about getting adivorce, what are truly viable reasonsfor actually getting a divorce?Each government has different lawsdefining the differencebetween 'fault' and 'no-fault' divorcereasons that have enough merit thatallow for the divorce to be granted.While it makes sense for you to keepthis in mind when deciding whether ornot to get a divorce because there maybe financial considerations to thinkof, you should first focus on definingyour own emotional or "personal"divorce reasons, regardless of whatthe local governing body says.If you ask 100 people how they defineviable reasons for wanting a divorce,you'll most likely get 100 differentanswers because they'll answer youfrom their perspective, not yours.Sure, there may be similarities to theway you feel in some of those answersabout 'real' divorce reasons, you mayeven agree with some. But, the realanswers to this question can only comefrom you. You have to figure out whatreason or reasons would be viable inyour mind in order to actually gothrough your decision about getting adivorce or staying married.Some reasons that people give forgetting a divorce, or wanting adivorce, are purely selfish and haveno substance. An example of a reasonfor wanting a divorce that has nosubstance is not liking the fact thatyour spouse has constant unfoundedjealousy. There is a deeper problemthat exists here, and in the case ofthis example, it could be that thespouse who constantly feels jealousyhas a confidence problem or some sortof 'fear of loss'. Whatever the case,the divorce reason in this exampleclearly isn't viable and shouldrelatively easy to fix.Often times when people give 'surface'or flimsy reasons for wanting adivorce, they really have much deeperfeelings about something and they'rejust using the shallow divorce reasonas an avoidance of some kind. Or, theygive these 'foundation-less' reasonsfor wanting a divorce because theyactually aren't aware that there areother deeper rooted reasons that arethe cause of the way they feel now.Common reasons that cause people tothink about or want to get a divorce:*Couple has conflicting personalbeliefs*Couple’s marital satisfactiondecreases*Desertion*Adultery*Cruel treatment*Bigamy*Imprisonment*Spousal Indignities*Institutionalization*Irretrievable Breakdown of some kindOf course, you should add your own reasonsto the list for wanting a divorce, better yet,make your own list. Solid divorce reasonsfor wanting or going through a divorceusually come from some sort ofoccurrence, behavioral pattern, and/orchange in the viewpoint of themarriage itself.In order to really make a smartdecision, you should first list thereasons that you have for wanting adivorce, then examine those divorcereasons for true viability. Then comeback to it that list in a day or so.Chances are you will be able toscratch a few of those reasons forwanting a divorce off the list becausethey were identified purely from anemotional viewpoint rather than logic.If you are thinking about getting adivorce, and haven't clearlyidentified what reasons you have forfeeling the way you do, you'll bedoing yourself a 'dis-service' if youact without carefully examining theviability each designated divorcereason. Everyone has their own reasonsfor wanting a divorce, make sure thatyou are certain that your reasons aretruthfully viable to you before youact on them.Karl AugustineDeciding on DivorceDivorce reasons