"Marriage Problem; Is Your Marriage Problem Severe Enough To Warrant Getting A Divorce?"

Having a marriage problem can be agonizing especially if you're trying
to do all you can to make your
marriage work. Depending on how your
marriage was prior to thinking that
you had a marriage problem, you could
be in for a hurtful time if you don't
take a step back and look at your
marriage problem from a "helicopter"
viewpoint. To do that, you're going to
need to try to limit your emotional
stake in the situation which
admittedly is a difficult thing to do.

The first step in getting over a
marriage problem is to remember that
you aren't alone, lots of couples have
marriage problems that stem from all
kinds of different types of behavior.

Here's a partial list of marriage
problems that you may or may not be
experiencing:

Marriage problem #1: Lack of sexual
intimacy - a serious issue that you
must work through in my opinion if
your going to work it out.

Marriage problem #2: Exploding during
an argument, getting too emotional and
letting your temper get the best of
you - you need to learn to work
together and you can't do that if one
of you is getting too heated.

Marriage problem #3: Being selfish -
eventually this will catch up to you.
You should always think of your
partner when you think of yourself.

Marriage problem #4: Being dishonest -
another serious issue. If you cannot
be 100% honest and open with your
mate, you're marriage is most likely
doomed or at the very least unhappy.

Marriage problem #5: Teasing too much-
generally the husband does this but it
could go either way. If there's a
little bit of truth to the teasing or
there's a greater marriage problem
that incites the teasing, you could be
in for a long road to recovery
together. Chances are that you'll have
a lot more work to do to correct this
marriage problem.

Marriage problem #6: Not respecting
your spouse - this marriage problem
can result in all types of other
problems. If you are experiencing this
you must get to the root of this and
figure out why the disrespect is
present. If you aren't getting the
every day respect that you deserve,
make it a priority to not let this go
on another day.

Marriage problem #7: Not being
attentive to your spouse or not
listening to your spouse - men are
usually guilty of this marriage
problem but is isn't exclusive to the
weaker gender by any means. Really
listening doesn't mean obeying, it
means understanding what's important
to your spouse and acting accordingly.

Obviously there are many other things that could be labeled a "marriage
problem", you have to decide what
those are as they pertain to your
situation.

So, how do you figure out if a
marriage problem or problems are
severe enough to warrant a divorce?

You should first examine what your
marriage problem actually is and
decide if it is exclusively a problem
for you or if it is something that you
both consider to be a marriage
problem. If you are the only one who
sees the said action as a marriage
problem, you have to decide whether or
not that specific marriage problem is
being caused by you or whether it is
truly a problem brought on by your
spouse. If the marriage problem is
unique to you, seek some help from a
counselor and do yourself the courtesy
of trying to correct the problem
before you believe that you need to
run right out and get a divorce.

You'll be a better person for it
because you will have fixed something
within yourself.

However, if you truly believe that the
marriage problem is caused and
prolonged by your spouse, sit down
with yourself first and examine what
you believe to be the root cause of
the behavior that creates the marriage
problem. Make sure that you are being
logical when you identify the behavior
that you feel is causing the marriage
problem and try to recall if the
traits or behavior that you've
identified in your spouse
are 'fixable' in your mind...assuming
of course, that your spouse will agree
that you are right.

Next, approach your spouse with the
information that you've reflected on
and try to talk through the cause of
the marriage problem. Hopefully your
spouse will be open to constructive
discussion regarding the marriage
problem so you can work through it
together. If you cannot do work on the
marriage problem together, seek the
help of a mediator or marriage
counselor so you can actually talk out
the marriage problem logically. If you
cannot work it out after counseling,
deep self-reflection and discussions,
you should be able to decide whether
or not the marriage problem warrants a
divorce or not.

Of course, no one can decide this but
you.

Karl Augustine
http://www.deciding-on-divorce.com/marriage-problem.htm