How to Build Confidence in Children

It is important to pay close attention to developing your child’s self confidence as this is something that will carry over as they grow up. Most self confidence issues occur when they are young, and there are many reasons for why a child is lacking in self confidence. Keep in mind that your child requires constant validation and approval from you, and it is important to balance your praise with criticism when dealing with them.

As a parent or a teacher, it is your responsibility to motivate your child and help them build up their self confidence. It is a fine line to tread between teaching them what is right and wrong, and being too superfluous or critical in your comments. Below are some tips on how to build confidence in children.

1. Avoid Over Praising your Child

It is important to mean it when you encourage your child as they are able to differentiate when you mean it and when you don’t. Avoid giving them praises that are all encompassing as it may cause them to be nervous as they know they are unable to meet your praise. Instead, try to be specific in your encouragement, and point out exactly what you are praising them for. This will help them to building self confidence.

Whilst it is good to motivate your child, constantly praising them without grounds may cause them to form a higher self opinion that is not based in reality. This can cause them a lot of problems in future.

2. Link your Comments with their Actions

Children require constructive criticism and praise, so make sure that there is a obvious correlation and linkage between what you say and what they have done. If your child has behaved, reward them for the behaviour and tell them why. Similarly, if they have misbehaved, they should be punished adequately in relation to their actions so that they can understand that it was wrong. Never mix praise and criticism as it causes confusion for them.

Remember that you should avoid personal attacks; it is the behaviour you are trying to change, and not the child. Try to treat the child like you would a peer, and avoid embarrassing them in front of other people. Take them aside if you need to speak to them about their behavior, as it teaches them respect and makes them more amenable to what you are saying.

3. Compare your child to themselves only

You should never compare them to their friends or relatives, but rather, to themselves. Whilst it may be tempting to use other children as role models or examples, this is actually highly discouraging for the child. Just as your improvement should be based upon your past results, so it should be for your child. 

4. Be a good role model

Your children look up to you and are likely to mirror what they see in you. Hence if you suffer from poor self confidence, it will be difficult to help your child develop it as well. If you face this problem, work on improving yourself first before expecting your child to have a high self confidence.

5. Show them that you love them, unconditionally.

Lastly, by actively showing and telling them that you love them, it will help them to build their self confidence. This tells them they we appreciate them the way they are, and that we are there to guide and help them be better persons.

Undoubtedly, we have good intentions in trying to build confidence in children, and these 5 tips will help you to do it well. Your child craves attention, and if they don’t get enough of your attention they may resort to negative behavior to get your attention.