When Someone Else has Cancer - 5 Important Things to Remember
When a friend or family member is diagnosed with cancer, your life can be thrown into turmoil. To help keep you grounded, stop and consider these 5 points.
- It’s not your fault. However tempted you are to believe that the cancer is caused by something you did or failed to do,
this is extremely unlikely to be the case. You are not to blame.
- It’s not your job to make them well. If you are a parent of a child with cancer, you will be likely to be involved with making decisions about their treatment. In any other case, the person with cancer will choose the best course in consultation with the team of health professionals they want to involve. There is a lot that they can do to affect the outcome of their illness. You may be called upon to offer support and assistance, but getting well is their job and theirs alone.
- They are still the same person they were before the cancer. They are facing a challenge and their personality may change as a result – either for a short time or permanently. But they have not suddenly become a lesser person, or a victim.
- It is ok (in fact it’s important) to get support for yourself. You may assume that all help and support should be directed towards the person with cancer – but you are also facing a challenge. The more supported you feel, the better you will cope. The better you cope, the more support you will be able to offer in turn.
- You can make a difference. Even though you may feel helpless and out of control, there is a lot you can do. The actions you take and the words you say can affect both the person with cancer and other friends and family members positively. You really can help.
