Substituting addictions – you see it all the time; gatherings of smokers outside the AA meeting door, boy meets girl on AA campus, maxed out credit cards, a rapid 20 lb weight gain. People seeking to quit an addiction typically lean on other vices to help them cope with their new sobriety.
It’s even encouraged: the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous recommends stocking up on sweets to curb the alcohol cravings; some doctors might encourage a patient to quell restlessness with “safe” distractions such as shopping, TV or exercise; addiction counselors generally concur it’s better to gain a few pounds than relapse with drugs, alcohol or anorexia, so they sanction the late night Haagen-Dazs binge. Then there are those who, post-treatment, indulge in workaholism and hyper-activity in an attempt to avoid their feelings. (This, of course, only increases stress, which can tip a person closer into the dangerous territory of relapse.)
Sadly, most addicts are satisfied with only stopping their primary addiction while other destructive habits remain unaddressed. Some may even rationalize that no one ever died or was incarcerated for indulging in sugar, caffeine, and cigarettes, so a little latitude should be in order.
No, they may not result in incarceration or job loss, but at what point can these indulgences inhibit true recovery and even be the first step in relapse of one’s main addiction?
People seek recovery in order to stop their addiction and live a new, clean life. Yet if they’re still practicing other addictions, how sober are they? When they still distort their reality with alternate addictions, how much peace of mind can they attain?
As president of The Nelson Center for Emotional Healing I see this all the time. Clients come to us with a laundry list of destructive habits that are making their lives unmanageable. Women, for example, after stopping drinking, will revert to their original addiction to food and practice bulimia or binge-eating for relief. Men and women will seek comfort and escape in sex addiction when they don’t have other addictions to fill the void they feel. We help them face the root cause of their addictions so they can finally get off the addiction merry-go-round and no longer have to escape with any addiction.
Substituting addictions impedes recovery and even causes relapse in two ways: First, if we are using any addiction, obsession or compulsion, it’s on account of a conscious or unconscious desire to cover up pain. If we avoid emotional pain long enough with other addictions and behaviors, that pain may require stronger painkillers and drive us back to our original “drug of choice”.
Second, when we use anything to avoid our feelings, our ability to cope with those feelings diminishes; using substances or unhealthy activities as coping tools precludes us from depending on our new tools of recovery. So when larger issues and troubles come our way, we don’t have the strength or maturity to deal with them. Once again, we turn to our old addictions for a quick fix.
So how does a person break free from all the addictions and unhealthy behaviors instead of “switching deck chairs on the Titanic”?
Instead of rationalizing these “other addictions”, why not treat them as broken coping tools that beg to be replaced with more effective ones, such as writing, meditation, self-expression and connection with others going through similar experiences?
Drawing attention to our lesser addictions and “bad habits”, when appropriate, and at the appropriate time, can help uncover deeper wounds that require healing. Deeper healing ultimately means a greater experience of freedom.
If your channels are blocked, why not explore what habits might be contributing to this block, and see that there is more clearing and subsequent freedom awaiting you? “Happy, joyous and free” is a promise of recovery, but only when addictions are no longer blocking our experience of these gifts.
