Helping Your Kids Cope - Navigating Divorce with Your Child Custody Lawyer

Divorce is one of the toughest decisions one in every three American couples will have to make. The decision to end a marriage can be a complicated ordeal, especially when there are children involved. Sometimes parents try very hard to resolve their issues and process feelings through options such as therapy before pulling the plug on matrimony. Sometimes both parents agree that it's time to end a marriage, and sometimes one partner desires the separation more than the other. When sorting through these issues, it is very important to keep the children's well-being and happiness in mind. This is where a child custody lawyer can help.

Divorce is a very difficult occurrence for children to process emotionally, especially when one parent leaves the house where the children are raised. Many children have mixed emotions about wanting their parents to stay together or not, especially if they are aware that their parents haven't been happy in a long time. It is very important that your children know that they did not cause your divorce. Some children take this burden upon themselves, and firmly believe that if they had only tried harder, done better in school, and behaved better then their parents would still be together. Instead of blaming themselves, some children make it their personal mission to bring their warring parents back together. However, this method is equally ineffective and emotionally unhealthy for the child. Other children take the "problem child" approach and cause as much of a ruckus as possible at home and at school just so their parents will have to come together and co-parent to deal with the resulting issues.

With divorce comes many changes to you and your child's life. Some of these changes could include moving to another house, city, or state, splitting time between individual parents, and changing schools. Both parents will seek out a child custody lawyer to help resolve issues such as living arrangements, custody agreements, and visitation rights. Directly after these changes are enacted, day-to-day routines can feel disrupted. After time passes, hopefully a routine will emerge that works for both parents and the children. When two adults separate, finance dynamics within the family can change drastically. If one parent was not accustomed to working full-time before the divorce, he or she might have to find work to help pay for rent or mortgage on a new place, or fees for a child custody lawyer.

One way to manage your children's expectations and emotions during this trying time is to keep a cool demeanor. If both parents cannot communicate effectively without yelling or fighting, how can the children be expected to handle the divorce well? It is best if a truce is called on matters directly concerning the kids. The last thing parents need during a divorce is their child feeling as though she or he must pick a side. If two parents are beyond reconciling matters peacefully, it is best that professionals such as therapists and child custody lawyers step in to aid in matters.