Sometimes domestic situations escalate until they end up in family law court. Here are some things to think about.
Family law court sees all kinds of domestic situations that have gotten out of hand. Every family,
including spouses, kids, aunts, uncles and grandparents will run into difficulties along the way. This is the nature of long term relationships. It's what happens in response to the difficult times that determines whether normal problems turn the corner into domestic abuse.
Here are some situations that may escalate into a need for family law court proceedings:
- Normal problems: Every couple will have to negotiate situations such as how money is handled, how to raise the kids, what to have for dinner, and how chores are divided within the household. These are all normal parts of living with a partner.
- Healthy response: When challenges occur, it is healthy to feel frustrated and even angry at one's partner or child. Talking it out, negotiating a change, using "I" messages instead of blaming the other person are all healthy ways to cope. "I" messages are when a person talks about how something affects them, such as "I feel scared about our finances when you buy expensive items without discussing it with me." This is likely to get a better response and chance of resolving the issue rather than "You spend all our money and are selfish!" which will likely only escalate the situation.
- Unhealthy reactions: Some examples of unhealthy tactics include threatening, yelling, name calling, hitting, punching or shoving. A person who was always hit as a child by a parent may be more likely to hit his or her own kids and spouse. Bullying and withholding food, affection, or love are also abusive tactics.
- Over-dependency between spouses: It's natural to be somewhat dependent on husbands and wives; after all, partners are supposed to help and support each other. When it becomes "overly-dependent" is when one or the other is extremely jealous or so needy that the other partner feels stifled. Or if one spouse is dependent on the other – often the husband – for financial support, and he makes her feel that she can't take care of herself, this is an unhealthy power imbalance. This type of power imbalance is more likely to turn into an abusive situation than in a relationship where the spouses feel like equal partners.
- Financial support issues: Family lawyers often step in to help individuals obtain financial support. This may be in the form of child support, alimony or even palimony. Sometimes child support payments are paid from a mother to a father or vice versa. It all depends on who is raising the child and who is financially capable. Sometimes support for children is awarded to grandparents if they are the ones who end up raising their grandchildren. Alimony is support for a spouse and is not related to a child's financial needs. Palimony is a term coined for supporting a non-married partner, as in "pal" and "alimony."
Family law court oversees legal issues pertaining to domestic cases, financial support issues and custodial rulings. If legal trouble occurs between relatives or intimates living together, a family lawyer would be the legal professional to call.
