Being Successful & Being Nice

"If you are successful, you may win false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway." -- Mother Teresa

I was surfing the Internet the other day, and since EQ (emotional intelligence) is my field, I was looking at an EQ site. The person, who was an aspiring corporate coach, said, "EQ. It's not soft." What does that have to do with the quote from Mother Teresa and what is this all about?

Often people are confused about what's "soft" and what's -- well, whatever the opposite of opposite of that is. Essentially it's a question of how to keep boundaries and still be a nice person. That is, "liked". How to succeed and not lose something of value in doing so.

Since Mother Teresa is everyone's favorite candidate for sainthood, perhaps you'll find her statement surprising, as I did. It's also enlightening. This woman, who engaged in good works, manifesting hope in near-hopeless situations, was evidently "hard as nails". Well, come to think of it, she'd have to be. She was clear about her expectations and her boundaries. She looked reality right square in the face with that statement, and gives us permission to go ahead and succeed. How else can we help ourselves and others? How else can we make a difference in the world and life fulfilling lives?

It isn't a zero-sum universe. One person's success does not come at the expense of someone else's. Hard, soft, male, female, have nothing to do with it. Other qualities do, including emotional literacy, hard work, intentionality and authenticity.

Success is a win-win situation. There's plenty of success to go around, and using your "soft" skills, your emotional intelligence are what will get you there in the long run.