Dealing with Criticism

Nobody likes to be criticised, but unfortunately, it is something that we are bound to receive one time or another. Some of us respond positively with nobility and detachment, yet many others get offended and keep it in until it leads to unnecessary suffering. Dealing with criticism is an important life skill and through it, we have the opportunity to learn and improve ourselves.

Here are some tips to help you deal with criticism:

* Respond to the suggestions, not the tone of the criticism. People may make valuable criticism as suggestions. However, their tone and manner of criticism may appear confrontational, and that is what we respond to rather than to the suggestions they are giving. You need to separate the criticism from the style of criticism. Detach your emotions from the useful suggestions that may lie underneath.

* Value criticism. The problem we have quite often is that we don’t value criticism because we only value praise. You are happy when people speak kind words, but miserable when they criticise. But because criticism can be constructive, you can only progress by inviting it rather than expecting praise which might be insincere or false flattery.

* Don’t take it personally. This is the major problem which occurs with regard to criticism. When people criticise us directly, we should feel they are not criticising our real self but just a misunderstood aspect of ourselves.

* Ignore false criticism. Sometimes we are criticised for no reason or justification and this can be painful. In cases like this, ignore it and remain aloof. If we remain silent and detached then the criticism is given no energy. But if we somehow fight it, we are giving it more importance than it deserves. Maintain a dignity that others will come to respect.

* Don’t react immediately. Responding too quickly because of feelings of anger or injured pride may leave us regretting later on. Wait patiently and you will be able to rationalise and reflect in a calmer way.

* SMILE! Smiling, even if it is a fake one, can help us to relax more. It creates a more positive vibe and ‘smoothen’ outs the situation. And if smiling actually aggravates the other person, then at least you know you’ve got one over them.