Have You Lost the Love of Your Life by Losing Yourself? - How to Get Your Lover Back

Do you suffer from the disease to please?

Would you lose a limb to get your ex back?

Would you sacrifice yourself on an alter to a demigod just to have your ex realise how much they loved you?

Do you absolutely love spending time thinking of ways to please your ex in order to get them back?

When you were together did you love finding ways to make them happy?

Do you know more about the way your ex thinks than the way you think?

Well chances are the reason you lost your ex IS because you lost yourself. Women are particularly bad at doing this, but it's not exclusive to women. We learned very young that if we pleased our parents/teachers/God then we would in turn get what we wanted. After all we were taught that selfish people are ugly and demanding and self absorbed. And we were taught people don't like selfish people.

Wrong!!

We might have twisted ourselves like a pretzel to get our needs met because we were taught we couldn't be upfront and therefore had to be underhanded. I'll give to you first if you give to me back. There's an underlying energy of manipulation with this behaviour though, often times you end up feeling empty and drained and what you give is far more than what you receive.

That's because other people don't pick up that there was a deal being made, one they didn't enter into consciously.

It might seem cute to your ex at the start that you were focused on them, perhaps they loved being fussed over. But after a while it comes across as needy, desperate and your ex feels like they have energetic octopus tentacles crawling all over them, tentacles that are making sure they never get too far away from you.

One of the keys to reinstating your relationship with your ex is to start doing techniques that may feel counter-intuitive to what you've been doing in the past.

Because after all what you've been doing in the past hasn't worked. This is of course if you know your ex is worthy of getting back with you. Even if you ultimately find they aren't worthy, at least you gave it a try.

Distance in relationships always creates anxiety and people want to close that emotional gap, especially women, as fast as they can.

But trying to get your ex back by staying in contact, doing anything to stay connected, short of stalking, isn't going to work.

You need to create distance and have no contact and give your ex a reason to miss you. Chances are they haven't experienced distance from you if you're a people pleaser.

Then set about the plan to get them back.