Honor Thy Father and Thy Mother

Father's day this year was a wonderful day for me, thanks to my family. However, it was also a sad day for me because it was the first time I wasn't able to pick up the phone and call my dad to wish him a happy Father's Day. You see, he passed away this past fall. I miss him.

It got me thinking about parents and children and the many diverse relationships they have with each other - from very strong and close to none at all. I think about my dear mother. She lives just a half mile from my home now. It's not much of an effort for me to go over there to see her yet I always feel I don't do it enough. When I do see her I tend to want to apologize to her for not visiting her enough. She always tells me to stop it and then proceeds to go on and on about what a wonderful and thoughtful son I am, which, in reality, I know I'm not. I could and should be a much better son.

How is your relationship with your parents? Is it what you'd like it to be? Is it what it should be? What should your relationship be like? The Ten Commandments seem to have gone out of fashion in our modern world, which I think is very sad. The seventh commandment reads:

"Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee." (Exodus 20:12)

I believe that commandment is still in effect today. I'm reminded of a couple of stories I heard years ago. I don't know their sources. I think they each teach poignant lessons. Here is the first one:

"Just next door lives a wonderful old man. He is still very alert and active. That special morning he awakened earlier than usual, bathed, shaved and put on his best clothes. Surely, he thought, they would come today.

"He didn't take his daily walk to the gas station to visit with the old-timers of the community, because he wanted to be right there when they came.

"He sat on the porch with a clear view of the road so he could see them coming. Surely they would come today.

"He decided to skip his noon nap because he wanted to be up when they came.

"He had six children. Two of his daughters and their married children lived within four miles. They hadn't been to see him for such a long time. But today was a special day. Surely they would come today.

"At suppertime he refused to cut the cake and asked that the ice cream be left in the freezer. He wanted to wait and have dessert with them when they came.

"About 9 o'clock he went to his room and got ready for bed. His last words before turning out the lights were: 'Promise to wake me when they come.'

"You see, it was his birthday, and he was 91."

My next story is about Abraham Lincoln.

Abraham Lincoln, who became the sixteenth president of the United States, once traveled in a stagecoach with a military man, a colonel, from the state of Kentucky. After riding a number of miles together, the colonel took a bottle of whiskey out of his pocket, and said, "Mr. Lincoln, won't you take a drink with me?"

Mr. Lincoln replied, "No, Colonel, thank you, I never drink whiskey."

They rode along together for a number of miles more, visiting very pleasantly, when the gentleman from Kentucky reached into his pocket and brought out some cigars, saying, "Now, Mr. Lincoln, if you won't take a drink with me, won't you take a smoke with me?"

And Mr. Lincoln said, "Now Colonel, you are such a fine, agreeable man to travel with, maybe I ought to take a smoke with you. But before I do so, let me tell you a little story-an experience I had when a small boy." And this was the story:

"My mother called me to her bed one day when I was about nine years old. She was sick, very sick, and she said to me, 'Abey, the doctor tells me I am not going to get well. I want you to promise me before I go that you will never use whiskey or tobacco as long as you live.' And I promised my mother I never would. And up to this hour, Colonel, I have kept that promise. Now would you advise me to break that promise to my dear mother, and take a smoke with you?"

"No, Mr. Lincoln, I wouldn't have you do it for the world. It was one of the best promises you ever made. And I would give a thousand dollars today if I had made my mother a promise like that, and kept it as you have done"

The first story is a sad story about children not honoring their father. The second story is about a son honoring his mother. Which kind of child are you?

How can we honor our parents?Years ago I spent a great deal of time writing up the qualities I would like to possess as a person. One of them was that I would always honor my parents. Here are five ways I determined I could honor my parents:

1. Be Good. I honor my parents first by living a good life. I know that there is nothing I could give my parents that would be prized more than for me to live honorably. I am careful to never bring shame to my parents in any way. I try to do all I can to bring honor to their name and to be the kind of son that I would want.

2. Show Appreciation. I honor my parents by showing often with words and actions my appreciation for all they have done for me. My mother put her life on the line and shed her blood to bring me into this world. She took care of my every need and gave me what I most needed - lots of love. My father toiled daily to provide me with food to eat, clothes to wear and a roof over my head. My parents gave me many wonderful memories that I cherish dearly. They taught me right and wrong. They put aside their own wants and needs and desires to fulfill those of their children.

3. Be Understanding. I honor my parents by understanding that they have lived longer than I have and have had many experiences that I can learn from. I take their counsel and advise seriously. I seek to emulate their best characteristics and overlook any faults they may have. I remember that like myself, my parents are not perfect and they made some mistakes or errors in judgment in raising their children. I never hold that against them because now that I am a parent I know just how hard and difficult it can be to raise children and how easy it is to make mistakes. I know that my parents loved me and did their best to raise me right.

4. Keep in Touch. I honor my parents by visiting them often and keeping in contact with them. I know how much it means to parents to be visited by their children and grandchildren. I do all I can to make it a priority to visit my parents when I can. I call them often just to say hello and see how they are doing. I remember them on their birthdays and holidays and try to make them pleasant and happy occasions for them. I write them from time to time to tell them how I am doing and send them pictures of my family when I can.

5. Take Care of Them. I honor my parents by looking after them and taking care of their needs. They have been on this earth a long time and have climbed to the summit of the hill of life and have experienced many struggles along the way. As they begin to descend, I do everything in my power to make the road smooth and pleasant for them. I take the time to find out what their needs are and do what I can to provide it for them. They served me for many years, now it is my turn to serve them. On this subject the Bible teaches: "Cast me not off in the time of old age; forsake me not when my strength faileth." (Psalms 71:9)

This has been my yardstick with which I have measured how well I have done at honoring my parents. I have never met this standard entirely but I feel I have done well. When my father passed on I had no regrets as far as our relationship goes. We were very close and it was a bitter but sweet experience.

Let there be no regrets in your life. Look at the above suggestions and see if there are areas where you can improve. Make the effort to honor your parents the best you know how.

Thank you.