Ask any teacher or adolescent counselor what the most disturbing trend they are seeing in teens today is, and they are likely to tell you it's the growing number of "cutters". By cutters, they mean people who hurt themselves or "self-injure" a term that is more encompassing of the many types of behaviors that are actually involved. Whatever the form of self-injury, cutting, burning, biting or any of many other similar behaviors, teens hurting themselves in an attempt to deal with emotional pain is on the rise.
Today it is thought that 1% of youth in America are engaging in self-harming behavior. And, while both males and females are self-harming, girls are four times more likely to self-harm than boys. This behavior, which has been around forever, but was noted only rarely in the past, is running through peer-groups like a infectious disease; striking fear into the hearts of many parents. Parents often do not know what to make the behavior in their children
What causes a person to engage in self-harm is as varied as the number of people hurting themselves. One cutter that may express the sentiments of many put it this way,” I cannot adequately describe in words my emotional state prior to a cutting. The feelings are overwhelming--usually severe feelings of rejection, self-hatred or anger. Cutting presents a way to make the pain show (and be felt) on the *outside* where I can deal with it." Frequently, as this person points out, self-harm is a coping strategy for dealing with emotional pain that has become intolerable.
Self-harm is not necessarily an attempt at suicide. Though one study found that half of students who engage in the behavior express thoughts of suicide, many professionals see the behavior as a maladaptive coping skill used to keep the person alive. Some would say that the longer the person engages in self-harming acts the less likely that they are attempts at suicide. Self-injury is nonetheless a dangerous behavior and one that can lead to unintentional death.
Identifying the person who is harming them self, may not always be easy. Frequently, the person cuts on areas that cannot be easily seen by others. They may wear long sleeve shirts and pants to cover up the scars. Some characteristics of people who are at risk for cutting include:
Low self-esteem
extreme sensitivity to rejection
high levels of anger
suppress emotions
impulsive
depressed
suffer chronic anxiety
have been abused
Many people who engage in self-harming do get better. There are a handful of inpatient programs around the country and an increasing number of therapists and programs treating self-harm on an outpatient basis. If your child is hurting her or himself, seek help.
© 2005, David Westbrook
Five Reasons for Fundraising Failures
Most nonprofits today live and die by their ability to successfully raise funds. The more funds they are able to raise the more good they are able to accomplish. A successful fundraiser has the potential to do much more than just generate funds for an organization. It can energize staff and board members, it can generate awareness about the importance of the organization’s mission, it can be serve as the beginning of a new relationship with long-term donors and it may generate additional publicity for the organization. Unfortunately, a fundraiser if done incorrectly can produce a strong negative effect in just as many areas and may even end up costing the organization money rather than making it money.
Your Content for Nothing and Your Clicks for Free
The first thing my business consultant (read brother-in-law) asked me, when I told him that I wanted to build a website and put AdSense on it was, "Do you want to build a site to help people or to make money?" After thinking about it for a while I couldn't imagine why I shouldn't do both. Why not a website that helps people and generates money for me? My consultant looked at me like I had taken one too many falls off my bike, which he knew I road primarily to save on the cost of gas, but he proceeded forward.
Drug Addiction Treatment Centers: A Fresh Start
Half a decade ago, I started working on a hotline to help addicts and their families find drug addiction treatment centers. Thousands of calls later, I still remember the first time I picked up the line. I could hardly make out what the woman on the other end was saying to me. Shelly (not her real name) was sobbing. She had just arrived at her father's apartment and had found him passed out cold on the couch with a needle still sticking out of his arm. Why she called our line instead of 9-1-1 was a mystery. I called for an ambulance and waited on the phone with her until they arrived. She told me how her father had been a construction worker, though his dream was to play guitar in a band. Shelly said her parents split up when she was thirteen because of her dad's drinking. He moved away to live in another state for a couple of years and they began to lose touch. He would send the occasional card or make a call on her birthday the first couple of years, but that eventually ended. After college, Shelly decided to find her dad. It turned out that he had moved back and was living just a couple of miles from where she grew up. Somewhere along the way, he had picked up a heroin habit. Shelly tried to talk him into going to treatment, but he always had an excuse for why he couldn't. Shelly said she visited him weekly, helped him keep his apartment up, bought his groceries and kept after him to quit. She said she they had just talked the night before and that he had, for the first time, agreed to try treatment. On my end, I could hear the ambulance approaching and then a knock on the door. Shelly hung up and I never heard from her again.
