Inner Healing

All people have experienced childhood hurts, albeit some more than others. None-the-less, we have all had them. Whether it is a lack of children's developmental skills, a lack of adults recognizing the need to help them, or both ~ childhood hurts do not go away on their own. We can stifle those wounds at times, accuse and try to convince the perpetrator of their error, exhaust ourselves emotionally, cry a spell and think it's better now, etc. But, it isn't.

We have all heard it said of children, "They'll get over it." In a little while, they will be playing again; which leads us to believe that statement is true. But, it isn't. We could be 90 years old and still not have gotten over it ~ which is sure to be relived, again, as minds regress.

If you happen to be in the grocery store, see a child accidentally cause an orange to drop to the floor (if you see that child get smacked, or even if you don't) and it brings back a reminder in your childhood ~ that hurt is still there. Sometimes, trigger words will bring back a memory. Other times, it will be an event. But, any and every time a memory is triggered more than once (being it months or years apart), that wound is still there.

As adults, we can often find understanding for other's failures; they were having a bad day, they may not have fully understood the significance of their error, or just anything. And, even when we can't otherwise reason, we come to learn the importance of forgiving, for our own benefit.

However, when children are wounded, (as a rule) adults do not help them to understand. They may not have offered the reassuring hug that lets that child know they are still loved. Adults probably did not teach that child in the area of praying for our enemies and they may not have defended them at all.

Often times, adults were just ignorant of the child's spiritual need. But, many times, too ~ adults did not treat children with the same respect as they would others. Physical and verbal lashings often gave blows to children when they weren't even the culprit. Then, there were those occasions where adults had no business rearing children at all.

Moses was hid from Pharaoh. Jesus was kept from Herod. Satan seeks to destroy the child and that includes us, too. We were wounded, as a child, and that 'child within' still hurts; as deeply as the day the event occurred ... which is one reason why we try blame, anger, and about everything else first.

We can not change the past. Neither can we change others. But, we can change what becomes of us now. And, before we can begin a healthy journey, we have to rid ourselves of all that extra baggage (all that sorrow, anger, and rage that sometimes even physically binds us).

Maybe they neither want or deserve forgiveness. Or, maybe, they are still blinded in their error. None-the-less, we have been made free from the sins of our fathers and it is up to us to take hold of that freedom.
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Get out pen and paper, if you will. Make a list of every hurt that comes to mind. It is alright if you do not remember everything. Just write down what you do. You can even ask God to help you remember. (1. Billy stole my watch. 2. Aunt Jane lied about me. 3. Dad didn't come to my game, when he promised.)

Sure, you may have gotten blind sided with a baseball bat. But, children have such tender and trusting hearts that the little things count, too. Do not be surprised if your first list is really long. But if not, what you have will be fine. Then, once your list is finished, put it aside for a bit.

Next, consider what your relationship with God has been like. Do you hold Him at arm's length, like dad did you? Maybe you try not to annoy God with little things, waiting until something becomes insurmountable before you ask for help. Maybe you envision God as a devil with a whip, just waiting for you to mess up. As is often the case, the kind of relationship we have with our earthly father is the same way we perceive God; making it even more important to be free of wounds, once and for all, so we can enjoy the relationship with God that He had always intended.

No matter how great one's father was or is, God is even greater. He is the most ultimately, supremely, perfect Father that ever was, is, or ever will be. He wants to be your everything! If you can envision what your view of a perfect father might be, consider that God is all that and even more!

So, if you will, let's remember the child, now. "Daddy God, I have a boo, boo. Can you make it better?" Oh, yes, He can! Envision Daddy God, the most perfect Father ever, sitting in a rocking chair. You run to Him with a need, like little ones often do. He picks you up, sets you in His lap, kisses the wound, holds and rocks you, and caresses you (as any loving father should) until all is well. Oh, what joy is found in the arms of Daddy's love!

Ok, now that we have a glimpse of God, as our Heavenly Father, consider picking one item on your list (only one) and bringing Him a boo, boo. And, it is ok to start with one that was a lesser hurt.

When wounded as adults, we can reason and find resolve as an adult. However, when the child is wounded, it is the child that needs to be healed.

Once you have made your selection and found a private place, to be undisturbed, go back in time. How old are you, 4, 8, a teen? Remember what happened and how it felt.

The first time, you might not be comfortable running into Daddy's arms. That's ok. Just envision Daddy God in His rocking chair, walk up to Him and climb into His lap. Then, begin telling Him what happened.

If you sat in someone else's lap, you wouldn't expect them to know the problem unless you verbalized it. So, say the words out loud. Yes, God already knows everything you think and feel. But, it is important for you to let the feelings out, so they will no longer be bottled up inside you. Tell God what happened, how it made you feel, why it hurts so much, and anything else that comes to mind. Hug God's neck, feel free to cry, and let Him rock you for however long you need. When another thought comes to mind, say it out loud, too. Stay until all emotions are spent, as you do not want them anymore.

Then, before you leave God's presence, verbally try to understand and reason (to whatever extent that you can) why this person might have failed you; albeit their ignorance, impatience, fear, or what ... recognizing that the wound was usually not intentional to hurt you. Then, ask God to help you forgive them and tell God you forgive them. Again, say the words out loud.

In minor offences, this exercise may only need done once per incident. But, should the memory be triggered again, go back to God (using this tool) that the wound will be healed deeper and deeper ~ until it is totally gone.

Then, on another day, pick something else on your list. And, when your list is finally through, ask God to bring to remembrance anything else that should be added to the list.

And, once you realize 'whatever happened to you also happened to those who wounded you' (only their experiences were likely even worse), you will find less reason to be angry at victims who never overcame the wounds of their past and never found a better way to live. Then, you can choose to be the difference (to welcome your responsibility in stopping the chain of emotional or physical abuse) for the next generation, by getting the inner healing you need.

With each step, in the process of inner healing, you will be replacing darkness with light; placing God's awesome love where it should have been all along. He is a most awesome Father! Isn't it about time you got to know your Daddy?

© 2004 by Joyce C. Lock
http://www.aspecialplace.net/ChristianityMadeSimple/

This writing, as well as all of Joyce C. Lock's
writings, may be individually used, in their entirety,
with credits in tact; for non-profit ministering purposes.