Is It Safe To Change?

As I'm working with my clients, I encourage them to
feel safe. When I lead them in imagery to find a special,
safe place, a few clients cannot imagine a place like
that. Some of them don't even feel safe enough to allow
the relaxation process to occur because, in their whole
life, they've never felt safe. There are many parts of the
world where an individual's life is threatened as a result
of war, famine and other violent issues. But there are
many people in the west who feel insecure because
their family was internally war torn.

Only when a client feels safe to make the changes that
they want will those changes actually occur. The
problem they want to change served some purpose in
the past. By the time they come to consult me, it's
become a problem. The subconscious will many times
resist the change because it's still trying to protect them.
Overeating, smoking, excess drinking are some of the
ways the subconscious uses to safeguard an individual.
These habits serve the purpose of stuffing, holding in or
numbing emotions because those emotions were
unacceptable to their family. It may also help them by
keeping other people away so that the person avoids
further hurt.

Self-judgement and self-condemnation might have
become coping mechanisms to avoid excessive
criticism from the family. Not being successful as an
adult may be a way to avoid breaking a family rule
about "Not getting too big for your britches." Health
issues could be an attempt to get positive attention or
even avoid negative attention as a child. Seeing a parent
who was ill could create an unconscious model to
follow to be like that parent. If you're like the parent,
there's a better chance of being accepted by him/her.

All of these are ways the subconscious has found to
help you in the past. That help is probably outdated, but
your inner mind doesn't realize it. The subconscious
doesn't feel safe enough to change the pattern. Your
first step is to find a way to allow the subconscious to
feel safe enough to change to a better experience.

If you have an intractable challenge, write down how it
might have benefited you in the past or present. There's
always some advantage to it, or the subconscious
wouldn't be holding onto it so hard. How did it make
you feel safe? Now, find a way for the subconscious to
feel safe so it can release the challenge. It may be
something like discovering another way to achieve the
benefit.

A person wanting success might give themselves
permission to release the family's attitude about
success. For health issues, recognize that you don't need
a parent's acceptance now. The subconscious won't
change until it feels that you'll be safe. When you're
able to make a new pattern feel more secure than the
old one, the subconscious will mobilize its resources
and accept the new idea.

Contemplate your connection to the Universe. The
Universe wants the best for you and will keep you safe
when you rely on It. You are an individualized
expression of the Universe, and It has given Itself (as
you) all you could ever desire. You just have to feel
safe enough to accept it. The old patterns were just
outdated ideas that helped you at a time when you
needed them. You've outgrown them just as you've
outgrown training wheels on your bicycle. The
Universe provides everything you need for the full,
joyful experience of life.

When you're able to recognize how and why it hasn't
felt safe to change, address those subconscious
concerns by realizing that you're in a different space
and time, and feel the security of the Universe, your
subconscious will cooperate with you to expand into a
greater experience of life.

Affirmation:
The Universe provides me with everything that I need
for a full, joyful, harmonious life. It's safe for me to
change. My subconscious realizes that the old ideas no
longer serve me. I've outgrown the need for the old
pattern. It's now appropriate for me to create new
mental patterns. I feel secure and whole with my new
mental, physical and emotional concepts and life. It's
safe for me to expand into a greater experience of life