Learn How To Cultivate Patience

"Patience is a virtue. Possess it if you can. Always found in angels. Seldom found in man."

                  Many of us have pet situations that draw out the worst in us for being impatient. Traffic, long lines, busy telephones or slow cashiers are some. Often the situation is only a trigger that sets off a reaction that has percolated like lava, looking for an opportunity to erupt.

                With this type of impatience we can try several techniques to help us lower the frequency, duration and intensity of our "impatience attacks."  1.) Breathe deeper and slower, using your diaphragm. 2.) Recognize that the universe does not revolve around you. The person behind you in line probably has the same thoughts about you that you have about the person in front of you. 3.) Focus your attention on something other than what has caused the impatience. Break the cycle that causes the reaction.      

                Patience also has another face, a deeper side too often overshadowed by the bluster and noise of impatience. Long term patience is the active expression of faith. Faith in ourselves, others, progress, the future and for most, faith in God.  This is the natural patience of the farmer, who plants a seed but does not dig it up each day to check its progress. It is the unnatural patience imposed on us as parents wanting the future to unfold well for our children. Or the uneasy patience of business people who have invested their life savings and who now awaits the public's acceptance of their idea.     

We can nurture patience by strengthening the basis of our faith.

1) We must begin within, with ourselves. Self-confidence based on past performance, moderated self-discipline and a program of continual self-improvement is the foundation of faith. View past failures as learning and educational experiences. Everyone has them. Don't internalize them destructively.

2) Increase your faith in others and groups by having realistic expectations for them. Don't hold higher standards for others than we impose on ourselves. Nurturing mutual trust based on reason and experience and not just feeling, will increase our faith naturally.

3) Increase faith in programs, institutions, and governments by working to improve them toward your definition of truth and justice. Constructive criticism is, finding fault accompanied by offering suggestions for viable solutions. Finding fault without offering solutions is complaining.

4.) Increase your faith in God, through cultivation of an active prayer life and reliance upon the Infinite when you've tried your hardest. "When we have done our best we should await the result in peace." (J. Lubbock)    

     One face of patience is impatience, the frustration of time and events not following our agenda for them. The other face is faith, the patience required to allow time to unfold. Yes, we can push, urge and cajole, but not always. Many activities and events involve required waiting. Babies take nine months.

     "Some things although right, were considered wrong for many years. Since the value of righteousness may be recognized after centuries, there is no need to crave immediate appreciation." (Zen-Getsu, 9th century Chinese monastic)  Now that's patience.