Midlife, Dreams & The Questions to Ask Yourself

Midlife is a challenging transition when you tend to take stock of your life and your dreams. Make a list of the dreams from your youth and ask yourself these questions about them. Then give yourself permission to let go of the dreams you no longer need and make some new dreams suitable to the new you and this new stage of your life!

1. Was this an 'ego' dream, i.e., something you did to prove something to someone or to yourself instead of something you really wanted.

Example: Getting a law degree when you didn't really want to be a lawyer.

2. Is this dream still suitable for you?

Example: Wanting to be a Broadway star when you're really a homebody, hate to travel, don't like to be in the spotlight, and got rid of the urge by starring in local theater productions.

3. Was this dream really yours or was it someone else's like your parents, boss, manager or spouse?

Example: Becoming a real estate broker instead of a real estate salesperson to please your boss.

4. Do you still want this dream? If so, is it possible? If so, is it worth the price?

Example: Becoming a writer.

5. Did any of these dreams come true and then turn out to be a nightmare?

Example: The property you bought on the lake that turned out to be environmentally protected so you couldn't build on it; or your first spouse.

6. Were any of these dreams pure fantasy that you never meant to have happen?

Example: Marrying a count and living in France, which got you through college in Grinnell, Iowa.

7. Did having any of these dreams come true prove transitory and unsatisfying?

Example: Buying the El Dorado with the leather seats.

8. Did this dream come true in essence though not in particulars?

Example: You dreamt of being a chef and instead turned your culinary talents and love into some unparalleled dining engagements at your house which was entirely satisfying.

9. Which of these dreams turned out to be met and enjoyed?

Celebrate them!

10. What have your learned by going over this list?

Example: That many of the dreams you no longer want or that some of them weren't really yours to begin with.

One of the privileges of midlife is being able to change your dreams. Plant the seeds for some new ones and watch them grow!