Someone Wasn't Using Her Intuition

“Grandmother, what big arms you have!”
”The better to hug you with, my dear.”

“Grandmother, what big legs you have!”
All the better to run with, my child.”

“Grandmother, what big eyes you have!”
”The better to eat you up with.”

And saying these words, this wicked wolf fell upon Little Red Riding Hood, and ate her all up.

The moral of the story (according to author Andrew Lang): “Children, especially attractive, well bred young ladies, should never talk to strangers, for if they should do so, they may well provide dinner for a wolf. I say ‘wolf’, but there are various kinds of wolves. There are also those who are charming, quite, polite, unassuming, complacent, and sweet, who pursue young women at home and in the streets. And unfortunately, it is these gentle wolves who are the most dangerous ones of all.”

HOW DOES THIS APPLY TO INTUITION?

What were the cues Little Red Riding Hood was not paying attention to, the messages from her intuition? How do we learn what to fear and what not to fear?

APPLICATION

This fairytale exists in several different countries (some versions more graphic than others, and more fatal), because of the lessons it teaches. Generally they all begin with this statement, as the little girl first meets the wolf in the woods: “Now the little girl did not know that the wolf was a wicked animal.”

Mammals learn this from their mothers, and others of their kind. For instance, when you first take your toddler to a park and he encounters his first slide, he may put his foot on the first step, then look over to you to see how he’s supposed to react, or if he’s supposed to go further. His look will say, “Is this safe? Will I be all right?”

If you respond with reassurance, the child will continue. If he senses fear in his mother, or if she overtly displays fear (saying “no” or looking anxious or shaking her head) he will have learned that this is something dangerous and to be feared.

This can be accomplished by looks alone. Emotions are ‘contagious’ and often transmitted through the eyes. A child can learn from direct experience (a dog that bites her, for instance), or vicariously, by looking to those around him to see how she’s supposed to react. What she’s supposed to think about it, and what she’s supposed to do or not do.

This is limbic connection. Newly born reptiles, for instance, take off on their own. Everything they know, they knew when they were born. They do not “learn.” Their parents teach them nothing. In fact they may eat them as they, themselves, are a danger!

YOUR TURN

Think of a time when you thought grandmother had awfully big legs for a grandmother (the product seemed too good to be true), or her voice was awfully growly for a grandmother (there was something ‘funny’ about what the job interviewer told you). Where was your intuition? What did you ignore?

When you find yourself looking back on a situation and saying, “I KNEW it wasn’t going to work out,” go back and process how you “knew” this and what cues you received (and how) and ignored. You were ignoring your intuition, your gut feelings, or instinct.

Some fears are innate (present in newborns, and present in all cultures on earth), and some fears are learned. One innate fear is the fear of falling. This is the startle reflex newborns show when they think they’re going to fall and flail their arms around.

Others are learned and may also be culture-bound. Texas children might fear the sound of the rattle snake. A Samoan might never had heard this sound and therefore wouldn’t know it was something to fear.

Intuition can be learned and honed throughout your lifetime. It’s an EQ competency that will help you live your life with more intelligence. Our intuition is a sure guide, once you know how it speaks to you.

ASK YOURSELF

1.What were you taught to fear that you later learned wasn’t something to fear? Who taught it to you and why do you think they did?

2.Are there any lessons in fear you learned that you might be better off UNlearning?

3.Is there something you were taught NOT to fear, that later harmed you and you now DO fear?

4.If you knew someone was afraid of dogs, how would you teach them that all dogs need not be feared?

5.How do we teach children to have good instincts about cars, so they don’t get run over?

Work on your intuition with a certified emotional intelligence coach. Learn to recognize when your hair stands on end, when you get goose bumps, when you blush, when your heart starts pounding, when you “know without knowing how you know” that something’s amiss.

Emotions guide us and we know them through physiological responses. That’s what Emotional Intelligence is all about – understanding our emotions, getting their message, and managing them. Learn to look under grandmother’s nighty when you see a bushy tail that’s not supposed to be there. Don’t ignore those signs. It could save you from being eaten up!