Have you ever wished that you had the CONFIDENCE TO SPEAK OUT about something you disapprove of or disagree with? Maybe you'd like to tell your boss that there's a better way to do something, or that you don't like being treated in a certain way. Maybe you're sick of people taking you for granted, or hurting your feelings without even caring to assess the damage they're doing to your self-esteem.
If you struggle to speak out, it's probably for one or more of these reasons:
- You're afraid that people may like you less if you say something they find controversial or disagreeable
- You're afraid that someone, whom you perceive to be more powerful than you, may try to take revenge on you if you dare to speak out and challenge his or her behaviour
- You're afraid that someone smarter than you will point out the errors in your argument and make you look foolish
But, even if you can relate to all three reasons, ask yourself this: is suffering in silence really more satisfying than speaking out and dealing with the consequences?
When you choose silence, there's a voice inside your head that judges you. And, no matter how hard you try, you can't seem to shut it up, can you? It's your own chatterbox, and it tells you "you are powerless and weak. Your opinions are worth far less than other people's. I don't think you deserve to like yourself very much today."
Do YOU have a chatterbox inside your head that drives you mad?
Each day that you choose to stay silent, the voice becomes more smug. Your self-esteem drifts downwards as if falling into a deep, dark hole. You start to lose belief that you will ever be able to climb out again, to hold your head up high in the sunshine to fill you with warmth and the joy of living.
Of course, none of us can expect to feel as if the sun is shining on us every day, but hiding your thoughts from the world is one of the surest ways to guarantee a pretty dull life.
So from now on, whenever you have something you want to say, whether it's to your friends, your colleagues, family members, or a group of strangers, remember these four powerful and foolproof steps. They will almost guarantee that you get your point across effectively.
1. straighten out your thoughts
Wherever possible, think through what you want to say in advance. That way you stand far less chance of tripping yourself up with logical inconsistencies. And, the best way to get your thoughts straight is to WRITE THEM DOWN!
2. stabilise your emotions
Get control of your emotions - one of the easiest ways to get your opinions ignored is to express them with either too much or too little "heat". Acting too apologetically or sheepishly, raising your voice, crying, or becoming too upset will seldom (if ever) help your cause.
3. strengthen your motivation
Make yourself a commitment, before you speak out about something, that the ONLY thing that will cause you to concede is if the audience to whom you are talking provides you with new and sound evidence to show that you are in fact wrong!
4. JUST speak out!
Yes, all that’s left is to take the initiative and speak out, often! Bear in mind also that you cannot "lose" or look foolish if you make an honest point calmly, rationally, and with a motivation to achieve an outcome that is right for those involved.
