Speaking The Truth: Debunking 3 Popular Myths

Do you ever find yourself biting your tongue, and reluctant to speak your truth? Does the idea of giving others your honest feedback make you cringe inside? Imagine a situation where you are working with others on a project and things are going along just fine. Yet you feel like there is a whole other level of excellence you could be going for together. Do you speak up even if your team members don’t want to hear it? Or do you just shrug your shoulders and figure the results you’ll get are “good enough” so why risk rocking the boat?

Being able to speak the truth isn’t always the easiest thing to do. Telling the truth requires a certain amount of courage. To thrive in life, making a commitment to living in your truth is well worth taking. Telling the truth in relationships might end up saving more relationships, and bring them to a greater level of intimacy and authenticity in the process. Telling the truth in our careers can lead to discovering new ways to express one’s true purpose and joy on the professional front.

Yet there are some common beliefs out there that can stop us from speaking the truth. Here are three common myths and how you can bust through them to a new level of truth-telling that the world seems to be in great need of these days. …MYTH #1 - “I might hurt someone’s feelings”

One big boulder we have to get over is that speaking our truth is going to hurt other people’s feelings and that, in and of itself, is reason to not speak out and offer your honest opinion. We say we care about other people and withhold our truth from them to “protect” their feelings.

Yet when we don’t tell the truth to others, it’s easy for resentment to build. We stay stuck in an internal bottleneck, while we delude others into thinking we’re just fine, thank you very much. Do we really want to build relationships and connections with others based on holding back and being inauthentic with them? If you have a tough-to-hear message to deliver, offer it with love and compassion. Even if there is an initial emotional upset, the person will still be able to feel your love and support of you stepping up to bring them some valuable information that they needed to get.

TRUTH TIP: Offer your feedback from a place of serving the other person. Give the other person space to have their emotional reaction and avoid any desire to become the caretaker.

MYTH #2 – “I might be wrong”

Sometimes people see something going off the rails and hesitate to speak up. We fear being wrong and second guess whether we have all “the facts.” We’re afraid of being criticized by others. But if your intuition sends you a strong signal that something isn’t quite right, and you don’t have all the facts, it can still be a huge service to speak your truth and problem solve together.

TRUTH TIP: Even if you don’t have all the facts, you can still offer your perspective and ask questions. Let go of your ego’s need to be right, and instead be willing to be of service.

MYTH #3 – “It’s not my place to say anything”

Another big myth is the idea that you need some kind of authority or permission to speak your truth. In organizations that are managed through hierarchies, there can be a “chain of command” in terms of how communication, feedback and input is expected to be offered and received. We see a problem, but assume somebody else – the government, our parents, our employers or somebody in a position to make change – will fix things. But the world is a changing at a rapid rate. I believe we need to take a great level of personal responsibility for the quality of our relationships, our communities and our environment. Where would the world be if Martin Luther King Jr. or Ghandi decided, “Ah well, it’s not my place to say anything.”

TRUTH TIP: Stop playing small and see yourself as the leader you are, that has valuable insight and wisdom to offer.