Any event you experience will bring up a certain amount of feelings. The quicker you feel those feelings, the better off you'll be.
When something happens in your life, it tends to bring up a certain amount of feeling. Someone cuts you off in traffic, and it brings up anger or perhaps fear. That anger and that fear have a certain amount of volume to it.
Or perhaps you're grieving for the loss of a loved one. You have a certain volume of grief you must go through. Once you've felt that volume of grief, then you're over it and you move on with life.
No matter how emotionally healthy you are, there's still a certain volume of emotion you must deal with at any given time. The more cleanly you're willing to feel that emotion, the quicker you'll get over it.
You can feel ALL the anger from someone cutting you off in traffic right at that moment. And within a minute you can be completely over it. Back to what you were feeling before the incident.
Or, you can take little pieces of that anger, mix it with a whole bunch of nonsense, and chew on it all day long. And still have some leftovers for tomorrow!
If you choose to feel it all at once, it's almost like a 'body rush'. Somewhat similar to the body rush you feel when surprised by a snake, or suddenly looking down from a tall height. Or any other situation that brings up a rush of real fear.
You know that rush I'm talking about? Some people get addicted to it.
Well, it's possible to feel that same rush with anger. It's a different body sensation from the fear, but the same principle. You're choosing to feel it cleanly and it rushes through your body so fast it actually invigorates you.
Some people go for the fear rush because they like the way it makes them feel. While I don't recommend it, I do understand it. Because it leaves you feeling 'more'.
Seeking out that adrenaline rush eventually leads to various problems. The point I want to make is that it feels good to cleanly feel your emotions - no matter what they are. The quicker you allow yourself to feel the volume of emotion, the better off you'll be. AND it actually feels better to get it out quickly.
But what about the death of a loved one? It's a terrible situation that can bring up all sorts of feelings. Once again, you're much better off embracing the most feeling you can as quickly as possible.
The problem with a grieving situation is that it often brings up other unresolved emotions that have not been dealt with before. Admittedly, it can be difficult to tell what is the honest grieving and what is the unresolved shame, pity, anger, etc. For example, am I feeling the genuine sorrow from my mother dying, or am I feeling the unresolved shame that she dumped on me fifty years ago?
If you're not used to being honest with your emotions, it can be hard to tell the difference. Since it takes a certain amount of discernment to know exactly what you're feeling under the best of circumstances, how can you be expected to know what you're feeling under the worst of circumstances?
Obviously it's important to not put any more pressure on yourself than you've already got. Simply be aware of the principle of 'volume of emotion'. Know that you have a certain volume of grief that will need to come out; expressing itself as a wide range of feelings.
Accept whatever you're feeling as valid and worthy of being felt. While keeping in mind that many unresolved feelings of the past may also come up. These feelings also deserve to be accepted as valid and true and worthy of your attention and embrace.
Remember, no matter the event - good or bad, wanted or unwanted, pleasant or unpleasant - it will bring up feelings in you. All events engender feelings. Those feelings have a certain volume. The more you open yourself to feeling them, the quicker you'll release them, the better you'll feel about yourself, the more alive you'll feel, and the greater your emotional health will be.
Want a rush? Want a thrill? Give yourself permission to embrace the volume of your emotion as cleanly and as quickly as possible.
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