For the ladies I work on the premise that your man is willing to give you everything you want; that he wants to make you happy, if only he is shown how. If this is a stretch for you, I suggest your belief is the main thing standing between you and a wonderful relationship.
When a man does not meet your expectation, you may tend to contract or withdraw. Resentment can creep in and your man pays in the end - either subtly or directly. A cycle can form where you may "cut him down" more often than you "build him up".
My coaching and articles will centre around helping you to:
1) See you actually can have everything you want from your relationship
2) Get clear on exactly what you want
3) Show your man how to give you what you want, in such a way that you both win! These steps often require a shift in thinking, and giving up some behavioural habits. You will need to take responsibility for your relationship - often an uncomfortable place to stand. The result is a positive cycle where he enjoys giving you what you want - wins from it - rather than acting out of obligation or fear. This leaves you radiantly happy, which in turn makes an ENORMOUS difference to his life.
Ask yourself – if life was a fairytale, and I really could have a perfect relationship, what would that look like? What THREE things could I have more of in this relationship that make me incredibly happy?
For the guys:
(Note: I won’t normally write directly for the guys, but in case your wondering about my philosophy here…..)
I work on the premise that if you are not happy in your relationship, it is because your girlfriend or wife is not happy, and therefore does not want you to be happy. You know how when she's lit up you have a great day, but when she's not you pay? Sadly, the impact of her mood on your life is widely underestimated.
I don't work with men on how to get their partner to alter her behaviour or give the guy more of what he wants. I work with men on how to pay attention, so they can give their women what she wants even before she asks for it.
“Make her happy, and your life will flow.”
Most women give out of obligation and conditioning. What would it be like to have her so happy, she's giving out of surplus?
Further, because women highly value attention and consideration, and men tend to highly value producing or achieving, a great win-win game is produced if the man pays attention to what his partner wants, and provides it! One could even go so far as to say that given what women go through on this planet compared to the life of the average man, that it's only fair! But fair is not relevant; suffice it to say this model works – wonderfully.
Enjoy,
David Wood
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