Having a loved one who suffers from depression can be an extremely difficult situation. Many people want to be able to help their loved one, but they don't know exactly how to go about it. In this interesting article a leading British therapist explains how you might best help someone who is depressed.
Having a loved one who suffers from depression can be an extremely difficult situation.
Many people want to be able to help their loved one, but they don't know exactly how to go about it. While you won't be able to "fix" another person's depression, there are ways you can be helpful and supportive. Accept the fact that you, by yourself, cannot make them better - Clinical depression should be treated by a mental health professional. Many friends and loved ones of someone who is depressed become frustrated to find that their best efforts just don't seem to break the cycle of depression. Unfortunately, you cannot make a depressed person better, no matter how hard you try, but your support can be very meaningful.
Be there for them - Although you won't be able to make them feel 100% better, knowing that you are there when they need someone to hold their hand, give them a hug, or lend a shoulder to cry on will be very comforting.
Don't judge them - It can be hard for a person who has never experienced depression before to truly understand what a depressed person is going through. You might be wondering, "why can't she just SNAP out of it?!" or "why is he always looking at everything from the negative viewpoint?" When a person is depressed, it's just not something that they can simply snap out of. Do your best not to judge. It's far better to listen and be open to what the depressed person is experiencing.
Educate yourself - Learning about depression can help you know what your loved one is up against. It will also help you in learning how to best support them.
Be supportive of their treatment - Depression needs to be treated by a professional, yet only the person who is depressed can make decisions about their own treatment. If the person you care about really doesn't want treatment at the moment, there's very little you can say or do to convince them. You can offer them the names of professionals that can help them, but the rest is up to them. If they are already in treatment, let them know that you're proud of them for having sought help.
Don't compare - Even if you have experienced depression yourself, everyone's experience is going to be different. Comparing what you have gone through to their depression will probably not make them feel better, even though you likely intended it to.
Don't give advice - Even though this is normal reaction when you have a loved one in need, a depressed person might not react well to being given advice. Instead, try asking them what you can do to help. Even if the depressed person can't think of any way you might help, they will appreciate that fact that you offered. And, it doesn't have to be a one time offer, make sure they know you're available whenever they might need you. When a loved one is depressed, we want to do everything we can to help. Even though you will not be able to cure their depression, your support alone can make a significant difference.
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