When change comes our usual reaction is to grab and hold onto what is familiar. We do not realize that the harder we hold, the more we crush whatever it is we have in our hands. There are other ways we can handle change which are constructive and take a great deal of pain and struggle away. This article offers specific tools and guidelines on a new way of viewing and relating to the changes we are going through.
When Dogen, a great Zen Master of old, returned to Japan after many years of studying Zen in China, the people asked what he brought with him to help others who were suffering, he said, "I've come with nothing but empty hands." What are these empty hands? Where can we find them? What value are they of us today? Usually our hands are full, filled with tasks, problems, relationships and possessions that seem impossible to put down. We live our lives so full of ourselves, full of decisions, plans and dreams. Then the winds of change come; perhaps we face serious illness, our dreams are suddenly scattered and our plans dissolved. Most feel as though they were being dismantled. Few know how to truly deal with change, or why it is happening to them.
When Change Comes
When change comes, our usual reaction is to grab and hold on to what has been. We do not realize that the harder we hold, the more we crush whatever it is we have in the palm of our hands. There are many ways we then seek to gain control. through denial, depression, anger, activity, new plans. This is our will demanding that life meet its particular demands. This is the personal will believing, "I am in charge."
Holding Onto Everything
We come into life empty-handed and then try to grab and hold onto everything. Immediately, we make claim for ownership. We want everything and we want it immediately. We want to receive, to hold and possess forever. Yet, in truth, what really belongs to us? Even our bodies have a life of their own. Attachment is usual, but not natural. It arises out of a deep confusion about who we truly are, where we are, and what is going on. It arises out of a misunderstanding about the nature of relationships and fear of being abandoned. We feel the tighter we hold on, the less frightened we will be.
The opposite is true. The gripping itself creates the fear. This sense of crushing and being crushed is at the very core of the pain we experience. It is our resistance to the flow of life. Many become afraid of losing that which they have been accumulating. Everything seems precious, no matter what. It is seldom that they stop and ask, "Do I need this anymore?" Can I allow myself to be satisfied, to say, "Thank you. This suffices."
Our inability to do this arises because no matter what we have learned in life, few know who they truly are.
How We Know Who We Are
Most of us feel we are our job, achievement, our name, relationship. Somehow we have not identified with the basis of all life, which is constantly moving, changing and healing, which is filled with new insights, possibilities and love. When change comes we grows rigid and bitter, try to pretend it isn't happening, try to keep everything the same. But this is a holding action at best.
Change is the very basis of our life, not to be fought, but to be welcomed and tasted, to be seen for the gift it truly is. As we do this, some questions we might ponder are: What can I lose and still be me? What kind of image of myself am I holding onto? What happens to me, if the image goes away? Really, who am I?
When our hands and hearts are empty of possessions, demands and illusions, the answer to these questions become clear. This clarity itself helps us reach out to others, live joyously, and empty our hands. Empty hands are pliable, flexible, useful. They can touch and comfort, they can give and receive, they can do what is needed when the moment appears. Empty hands are just simply there, like the poppy blowing in the wind.
When our hands are empty, they can respond appropriately and completely to whatever and whoever comes along. We are not weighed down, nor do we weigh down others. As we let go, join with the flow of life many kinds of pains lessen and healing energies have an opportunity to flow.
Healing Through Zen
When some people suffer they take drugs or go for therapy. Another way suffering can also be healed is through the practice of Zen. There are radical differences in these two approaches. This article describes the way Zen practice views and handles suffering. It offers a completely alternative way to cope with the stress and pain we go through.
The Secret to Healing Loneliness
Loneliness is one of the great sufferings of our time. Despite being constantly online and tuned in, the heart needs human warmth and contact. This article explores the true causes of loneliness and offers specific, wonderful steps to healing it, to freeling truly connected, knowing how and where you truly belong.
New Ways of Healing Suffering
When pain or hard times come into our lives, we usually tense up for battle, try to figure a solution and depend entirely upon our rational minds. However, there is another way to handle suffering, one which is simple, natural, and produces incredible results. This article offers a new look at suffering and a new way to respond. Exercise included.
