When Things Suck, Who is To Blame?

Last year we blamed the economy. What will we blame in 2010? Have you ever considered how blame could be impacting your success?

Finding someone or something to blame gets you off the hook when things don’t turn out your way. Finding blame is common and seems to be a natural human tendency.

Although I come from a large family of six children, I was on only child until 5. When I was four years old, I created an imaginary playmate named Dee Dee. If I spilled my juice or colored outside the lines, I always blamed Dee Dee. Later, I could blame my siblings for distracting me.

As I matured, I took more responsibility for the small things but still had plenty of blame to spread around. I blamed my upbringing, my lack of experience, my teachers, and my busy schedule. Can you relate? What I didn’t realize was that I was missing the point.

Blame has the effect of making you a victim. By blaming others or my past, I was claiming that things would never get better. Since it is impossible to change your past, the blame game takes away a better future. Blame robs you of your personal power. When you blame a force outside of yourself, you are declaring, “I have no control over that! Things just happen to me!”  Victims have no choices. By blaming you make your success in life or business a matter of destiny rather than decision.

Blaming yourself is no better because it weighs you down with guilt and repentance. The result is that you are always atoning for your past mistakes. This can harm your spirit even more than blaming others.

There is another choice. You are the center of all your experiences. The moment you drop all blame and take RESPONSIBILITY for everything in your life is the moment that your life begins to shift. Instead of keeping the focus off you by blaming and looking for external reasons, look for internal responses.

Ask yourself a series of questions. How could I get a better outcome? What could I do differently? Is there something I don’t know which could help? Do I need to set better boundaries? Could I listen to my inner wisdom and make better choices? What is important now? Am I focusing on my highest values?  How could asking insightful questions impact your business success?

Are you willing to create your life, as it is, in every moment? The events and choices in your life are there to provide you with opportunities to grow and prosper. Every moment is an opportunity to choose again.

Eliminating blame is the path to leadership and personal power. The boss who lays blame creates fear. A leader corrects mistakes, leads by example, and develops confidence in the people around him or her. The boss can make work drudgery while a leader makes work interesting.