Have you ever been accused of being a bad listener? Chances are, you are. That’s nothing to be ashamed of.
People who have high function brains can get lost in the avalanche of thoughts their brain spews ever second. This leaves little to no room for what other people have to say or are saying at the moment. This, albeit is a rather undesirable quality to have. People like to be heard, it's considered rude not to. Don’t fret though, you are not completely hopeless. Here are a few tips for all the people out there who have trouble being a good listener.
Be mindful
It is important to be constantly aware of what is happening around you, be it in live conversation or on Chat Messengers. If you are the kind of person who tends to get lost in thought, it would be good for you to do a few mindfulness exercises to help you be more aware of your surroundings. This can be easy on messengers such as NEEO due to their notifications and textbase conversations, it’s harder to do up live. Try to stay in the moment so you know when and who to pay attention to.
Be more involved
Listen to people not just for the sake of it, but to learn new information. Pay attention to what they are saying and pick up as much as you can from what they have to say. Challenge yourself to be more informed about the subject of each conversation. This way you avoid having a conversation for the sake of it and start to be a part of the narrative. This shows people you care about what they have to say which translated into how much they matter to you.
Ask questions
Ask relevant questions. This way you can understand the context of the conversation. Asking people questions allows them to open up to you about their experiences. Inquire about the subject matter and pay attention to what the other person had to say. Being a better listener involves being informed, what better way to do that than to ask?
Wait your turn
Perhaps the biggest mistake people make is making the conversation about themselves. While a conversation is a two-way stream, you have to let the other person finish before you weigh in your opinion. This makes for a healthy conversation where both the parties get equal say. If you dominate the conversation with your opinion, you come off as selfish as and more likely than not, the other party will feel unheard. The best way to assess this is to see the length and number of your text messages as compared to theirs. On the other hand, if you let the other person dominate the conversation and not give enough input, you will come off as aloof and uninterested. The best way is to make it a 50/50 exchange where you both get a say.
Practice
Increase your attention span by doing a comprehensive reading. This will allow you to assess how well you pick up on things during a chat. If you find yourself drifting off after every few lines and having to re-read paragraphs to understand it, you need to work on your attention span. Having a good attention span will allow you to be more attentive in conversations. Having good comprehension skills allows you to understand the context of a narrative and contribute to the conversation.
Be honest
Do not pretend to understand and know things that you don’t. Having mindful conversations means knowing what is being said. If you do not understand what the other person is saying or what they mean, ask them for clarification. Moreover, being honest doesn’t only make you a good listener, but also a credible one. It shows that you have enough respect for someone to be able to put yourself out there for them.
Respond quickly
When having a conversation over Chat Messengers, like Neeo messenger, it's best to be quick with your replies. Don’t keep people waiting for your response. The faster you respond the more attention you will pay to the conversation. Taking longer to respond could result in the other person losing interest in the conversation.
Being a good listener is an essential skill to have to be taken seriously. Even more so over a medium where you are not addressing someone directly.
