Prejudices and adjusting to differences

Life is but a myriad of structures which we order to feel comfortable within our own personal environment and for various survival reasons.  We associate our relationship with the world through our bodies and the structures and rules that we live by as a guiding pattern for life.  These structures embody cultural and ethical philosophies as well as physical qualities that we seek to uphold to, all of which we have become extremely familiar with.  They encompass everyday actions, people, things and places that we come into contact with. 

When we live within these set structures that we associate with as our identity, we continue without discomfort when all seems normal and unchanging.  It is only the times when new experiences, people and places are being introduced to us that we feel uncomfortable and indifferent about the things being presented before us.  It can create either a curiosity of interest or instead a retaliation of discomfort when new experiences are undertaken.  We often start the comparing game, and try to find all the things that are strange about what we are seeing.  We are looking at the differences between our set lives to the new reality being shown before us.

These things can include adjustments to new houses, people, cultures or places.  The first thing that is evident is the differences between the individuals or events taking place.  Whether that includes color of skin, language, personality or physical features we seek to find all the things that set us apart from others in order to justify our own personal identity.  This also includes physical places and things, when comparing old comforts with new lifestyle. 

As cultures we isolate ourselves within set philosophies on how to order life and live within rules that constitute our own idealistic society.  We say that we are a certain nationality, with a set language, set beliefs and even ethical philosophies to which we feel we must abide by.  When we then see other people living very differently to our own reasoning a conflict begins to arise.

This conflict often begins first with avoiding or not willing to see what is different.  In some cases avoidance can work for a very long time, but eventually we are faced again with the issue when it comes back into play.  Like for instance the difference between two entirely different cultures.  Now that we have such a global society we are more and more confronted with new and different people with their own set values and upbringing.  We see their language, their lifestyles and reality as completely strange to our own experienced.  When communication problems come into play between both cultures then this is where the problem begins.

The worst thing for a person is to not be understood.  We all value our own opinion and contribution to society and when it comes to differences it is at these times that we can find scenarios that confront our own deep insecurities.  Presenting to us our worst fears of what we would never want to have to face, let alone deal with everyday.  We fear confrontation with others, an inability to understand and confusion.  Mostly we like order and structure and when new and unusual things come into play they make for disruption in our solid lives that have a flow set to our approval. 

This is when prejudices come into play.  That is after fear, discomfort and inability to feel comfortable within new experiences.  We pick at things like vultures hungry to get to the bottom of things in order to make life flow on as normal.  It is important to know everything, to put it into a bundle or package with a label in order to reason it in our lives.  We then identify ourselves as culturally different and say we are this and that, set labels to identify our own identity in relationship with the world around us.  We might make jokes in order to feel comfortable, to make light of the discomfort in order to overlook our own insecurities and dissatisfaction.  It is still just another way to avoid the discomfort issues at hand than to face what is new and learn to become accustomed to it. 

We all know that over time things become normal when it is seen on a daily basis.  Allowing time to adjust is one of the first ways in which to deal with difference and avoiding the aggressive acts of prejudices.  Prejudices really are just our own inability to cope with change and wanting to make ourselves feel better within a space of newness, creating a series of set personal insecurities.  Questioning why we feel so negative towards a new environment or new people is a way to resolve our own discomfort.  Facing it is also a good way in which to make it familiar and to see it for what it really is, only but a new experience. 

Whether we decide to see difference as good or bad is an individual choice and personal perception.  It does not matter how new things are approached they will still need to be confronted, especially when they continue to be around us everyday.  Facing it with an open mind and interest makes for a better understanding of the experiences being presented to us, giving us the ability to see it as a part of the whole. 

Avoidance only leads to more and more discomfort and only furthers our isolation and inability to resolve the new issues at hand.  Gradually over time these insecurities build up to a point that we are faced with the things we fear whether we like it or not, sometimes causing exchange of anger and inability to resolve personal differences.  Only when we begin to accept change and difference will we then find the experiences as common and normal without having any impact on us anymore, leading to a much more open, enhanced and comfortable life, with more options in which to identify ourselves with. 

Learning to accept change is the doorway to opening up more opportunity to learn and experience through difference.  Prejudices only show our inability to feel comfortable with change, suppressing our ability to move on to new horizons and experiences.

By Stacey T Pollock