In this article, we delve into the intricate topic of self-esteem, particularly focusing on women. We explore what self-esteem truly means, how to cultivate it, and how to maintain it. This comprehensive guide offers practical tools and insights to help women enhance their self-worth and navigate the complexities of self-esteem.
Self-esteem is a multifaceted concept that encompasses our overall sense of self-worth and personal value. According to the American Psychological Association, self-esteem reflects a person's overall subjective emotional evaluation of their own worth. It is the decision made by an individual as an attitude towards the self.
Here are some definitions that encapsulate the essence of self-esteem:
While these definitions are straightforward, achieving and maintaining self-esteem is often more challenging.
Many women experience fluctuations in their self-esteem. On good days, we might feel invincible, confident, and proud of our accomplishments. However, on bad days, we might suffer from what I call "low self-esteem attacks" (LSEAs), where we temporarily forget our worth and contributions.
As a psychotherapist, I often encounter women who struggle with self-esteem. Despite their achievements and strengths, they sometimes feel "nothing," "stupid," or "ugly." It's disheartening to see such brilliant women doubt themselves. However, it's crucial to help them realize their worth on their own terms.
Many factors contribute to the difficulty of maintaining self-esteem. Societal pressures, personal experiences, and internalized beliefs all play a role. While some women appear to be unaffected by others' opinions, it's rare to find someone who has never cared about external validation.
When experiencing a low self-esteem attack, consider these strategies to uplift your spirits:
Counter Negative Thoughts: Write down negative thoughts on one side of a paper and counter them with positive evidence on the other side. For example, if you think, "I can't present myself professionally," counter it with, "I did a great job during the presentation last week, and people praised my professionalism."
Reach Out to Supportive Women: Call a woman who is less prone to low self-esteem attacks. Share your feelings and ask for a reminder of your worth. Sometimes, a good laugh and a supportive conversation can work wonders.
Seek Inspiration from Strong Women: Listen to empowering music or read about women who inspire you. For instance, Aretha Franklin's "RESPECT" can be a powerful anthem to boost your self-esteem.
Pray or Meditate: Engage in spiritual practices that resonate with you. Pray for strength and clarity, and be open to receiving positive reminders of your true self.
Self-esteem is not just a personal issue; it has broader implications. According to a study by the National Institute of Mental Health, low self-esteem is linked to various mental health issues, including depression and anxiety. Therefore, fostering self-esteem is crucial for overall well-being.
Self-esteem is a journey, not a destination. It's essential to recognize our worth and continuously work on maintaining a positive self-image. By implementing the strategies mentioned above, we can navigate the ups and downs of self-esteem and embrace our true selves.
Esther Kane, MSW, Registered Clinical Counsellor, is the author of "Dump That Chump: A Ten-Step Plan for Ending Bad Relationships and Attracting the Fabulous Partner You Deserve" and "What Your Mama Can’t or Won’t Teach You: Grown Women’s Stories of Their Teen Years." Sign up for her free monthly e-zine, Women’s Community Counsellor, to uplift and inspire women at www.estherkane.com.
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