How to Talk About Good Touch, Bad Touch with Kids

Ways to Talk to Your Child about Good Touch and Bad Touch

1. Teach them the difference between a Good Touch and a Bad Touch

Talk to them about what constitutes for a good touch and a bad touch. Tell them about various scenarios and how to behave during them.

• Good Touch: Any touch or interaction with others that makes the child feel safe, secure and loved. For example, when the mother kisses the child or when a grandparent hugs them, constitutes for a good touch.
• Bad Touch: Any touch or interaction that makes them unsafe and uncomfortable. For example, when someone touches them or their private part and threatens them not to tell anybody or when a child feels uncomfortable upon kissed by someone.

You can create a good touch bad touch chart for kids to make them understand it easily. Apart from that, there are many videos and books available for you to explain these pointers. Teach them to run away if they are being inappropriately touched or if they are feeling unsafe and uncomfortable around someone. Also, tell them that it is okay to scream for help if they are feeling threatened by anyone. If they have been touched inappropriately, they should confide in parents or teachers about the same.

1. Teach your children that they are the owners of their body

This can be inculcated starting as early as two years of age. Teach them to take ownership of their body and that no one is allowed to touch them or their private parts. You can make this a routine conversation by starting with the smallest things like, “it is important to keep your body safe which is why you must buckle up your seat belt in the car.” Children must know that it is important to keep their bodies safe at home and school as well. Teach them to talk when they feel unsafe, stand up for themselves and set boundaries. For example, if someone pushes them at the playground, they should speak up and say, “I don’t feel safe and you should not push me around.” Teach them about body space and keep the communication line open. Tell them to speak with you if they feel uncomfortable and unsafe. Give them the swimsuit example and tell them that the areas covered with swimsuit are extremely private and that they should talk to you if anyone touches them there.

1. Teach Them to Say No

Tell them that they can say no if someone is trying to kiss them or hug them. If your child feels uncomfortable, always give them an option. For example, if your child is feeling shy, you can tell him/her that they can either hug their aunt or give her a high-five. They must understand that they have an option when they are feeling uncomfortable. No one can coerce them into hugging or any other physical interaction if they don’t want to do so.

1. Use Appropriate Language

Instead of using made-up names for the private parts, use proper language and words. Using made-up words can give them the impression that these words are bad and that they should not talk about their private parts. Remove the stigma by teaching them these words and keep the communication line open.

1. Expect Questions

While teaching them about issues like body space, gender identity, good touch or bad touch, there are bound to be questions from the young and curious children. However, no matter how silly or funny the question is, never giggle or belittle them for their questions. Answer their queries without any anger, laughter or judgment. You mustn't make your child ashamed of his/her curiosity. Make it a habit of answering these questions clearly and concisely, using proper but easy terms. Make sure that whatever information that you are sharing with them needs to be age-appropriate. For example, your preschooler might not need the details about the sexual functioning of the private parts but he/she needs to understand about body space and safety about the same.

The Bottom Line: Keep Having the Conversation

You need to keep reinforcing the idea that their body is their own and that no one has the right to touch their private parts and body inappropriately. To make sure that they understand and know that it is a safe space for them to discuss these queries with you, have these conversations with them every day. This would encourage them to talk with you and report any inappropriate activity.

For more details about how to talk to your children about important issues, visit our website.