IS YOUR INNER CRITIC WORKING OVER-TIME?

Do you have an Inner Critic who seems to always be on duty?
It is that voice that sounds so sure and authoritative as it
tears at your self-esteem and whittles away at your
self-confidence. You can actually look spectacular, healthy
and fit and it will fixate on the part of your body you like
the least. Sound familiar?

It is not the exact words that this voice utters that matter.
It is the quality of the energy behind the words...and it is
often not positive. Interestingly enough, the voice is
usually not telling the truth. In fact, it is not even close
to being based in reality. It is such a strange phenomenon. A
hundred people could tell you that you look terrific today,
and that one lonely, miserable Inner Critic can cause you to
decide that all one hundred of those folks are wrong! When
you look at it that way, it seems ludicrous, doesn't it?

Let me tell you a story from my own life. From the time I was
nine years old, I was told that I needed to diet, change, do
more, do less, reach, settle, conform, stretch. The message
from my folks was that no matter what I did I would never be
good enough. Sound familiar again? Once I was an adult, the
content of that message shifted from my weight to my career
and mothering ability, but the outcome was the same--no matter
what I did I would never be good enough. If I paid attention
to my career--and, as a single mother of three, there was no
choice if we wanted to eat--my parents insisted that I was not
giving my children enough of my time. If I paid attention to
my children, I was wasting my life being a mother. What a
Catch-22! My parents were invested in control. Making it
impossible for me to "win" allowed them to think they were in
control. Fortunately, I saw their game when I was seventeen
and gave their opinions less weight than they thought. Or, at
least, that is what I thought!

At forty or so, I was making photograph albums for my three
children. As I went through all the photos from my parents'
home and mine, I found myself in tears. Why? Because, in
looking at forty years of photos of me, I could see no
evidence of the person they described when I looked at myself.
The person in those photos was just fine just the way she was.
And yet, that Inner Critic had been well-informed with those
repeated messages. My tears were for the early years of
striving to gain the approval of folks whose opinions I really
did not value. I tell that story because I know it is a
common one. Fortunately, at age nineteen, Maxwell Maltz and I
became friends through his books. Everything changed!

If your Inner Critic has way too much to say, consciously turn
it off. When it begins, change the channel to one that is
supportive, one that encourages you to live fully, stretch and
grow--all on your own terms. You can do this!

REMEMBER, WHAT YOU PAY ATTENTION TO EXPANDS!