Misunderstandings about constructive criticism

Most creative people have creative ideas and create things so that other people can view, read, consume, wear, listen to, think about, and enjoy those things. Also obvious, right? So why is it that so many of us are so bad at taking criticism?

It’s okay if you feel standoffish right now. You’re probably thinking that you would be better at taking criticism if it were constructive criticism. But you know what? A lot of people have a fundamental misunderstanding of what constructive criticism is or has to be. Get ready for some hard truths.

Constructive criticism doesn’t have to include praise
So many of us think that constructive criticism means someone says “You are really, really good at X, but you could maybe try to work on Y.” It would be nice if all constructive criticism were like that, but constructive criticism is just criticism that should, in theory, help you become better at what you’re doing, or help improve your end product. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a whole lot to do with protecting your feelings.

As an example: “I hated this,” is not constructive criticism, while “I hated how unrealistic the conversations were,” is. Both may hurt, but only one will help.

People don’t have to be experts to criticize your work
Let’s say you give your manuscript to your sister, a dental hygienist, to read. She tells you she didn’t like the character Roger because she never understood why he was doing the things he was doing. If you’re like most people, your reaction is going to involve telling yourself that she’s a dental hygienist so what does she know about creative ideas and writing a book.

Stop. Game over. You lose. It’s fine to think those things initially, but if you disregard an opinion simply because the person giving it doesn’t do the same thing you do, you’re going to miss out on a lot of good feedback. If you're truly only creating to make yourself happy, then why are you showing your work to anyone else? The opinions of others matter.

Negative feedback isn’t a bad thing
It sure feels like a bad thing. We’ll give you that. When someone tells you (or you otherwise hear) that they don’t like something you’ve created, it’s natural to skip right to the worst-case scenario and assume that person thinks you’re an idiot and that you should stop what you’re doing.

That’s because we’re our own worst critics, so when an actual critic steps into the ring we think alright, now we’re hearing what we always feared was the truth. But the actual truth is that if someone cares enough to criticize what you’ve done, they care about either you or your work. Think about the way fanboys rip apart every new superhero movie that comes out. But are they not going to see those movies? Do they not buy them on blu-ray? People are hard on the things they like. That’s just how it is.