Ten Ways to Evolve, Part 2

Over the past decade, I've worked with thousands of individuals seeking ways to improve their ability to attract their ideal mate. As a result, I've created a list of ten most commonly prescribed personal development steps I recommend for those wanting to attract and create their ideal relationship. Last week I shared the first half of the list. Today, we will round out the list with the last five personal development steps.

Fortunately or unfortunately, the second half of this list is much more difficult to accomplish than the first. Because of this challenge, you may be tempted to dismiss these steps as impossible, or even irrelevant. I urge you not to. In taking these steps is the answer to the one question I get from every single person I interact with: "How do I attract the kind of partner I am looking for?"

To review, below are the first five steps. For details on these steps, please read last week's newsletter at http://www.whatittakes.com/Archive/Newsletter40to49/newsletter__46.shtml

1. Get complete with your past to break relationship patterns.
2. Ask for what you want in any relationship.
3. The more you want a relationship, have a laundry list, a timetable for when it should occur, the less likely you are to have it.
4. Don't try to change yourself to "fit" into a relationship.
5. Assess communication in your relationships.

Here is the second half of my top ten most popular relationship recommendations:

6. One key to recognizing when you've made a poor choice in a partner is when the other person seems to adore you from the start.

If a new relationship revolves around you, you need to know this is more about the other person's need to be connected to "someone" than it is about connecting with you personally.

A relationship such as this will cool off within a short period of time. You will be left feeling the urge to chase the person to continue to get the same amount of attention.

Take it very slow in the beginning of any relationship, even if your new partner is pushing to speed it up. Only relationships built slowly withstand the test of time.

7. Choose how to create a relationship.

Relationship choices are based on our parents' or care-givers' relationships or lack thereof. If their relationship did not work well, we are stuck with their painful relationship patterns. The only way out is to clearly understand how their relationships influenced our relationship choices and behaviors. We need to consciously choose what works for us and what doesn't.

Look at your parents' or care-givers' relationships to see how they parallel your relationship history. Then make a conscious choice about how you want to create your relationships, which beliefs and behaviors you want to leave behind and which you want to keep.

You may need help doing this, as seeing one's own behavior can be pretty difficult. As a relationship coach, I can help you with this. For more on my services, see http://www.whatittakes.com/Coaching/coachingservices.html.

8. It does not matter how many or few available partners there are in your area.

You don't need to attract many partners; just one -- the right one. Whether or not you are able to attract a partner depends on how well you have dealt with your beliefs about relationships.

If you want to attract your ideal partner, look inside yourself and find out what you honestly believe about relationships and the opposite sex.

Again, this may be difficult to do alone, and I am here to help as your relationship coach.

9. You must clearly know what you want in a relationship in order to create it.

First, discover what kind of interaction you want to have with an intimate partner. What is most important to you?

Then ask yourself what kind of a person would be suited to naturally engage in that kind of interaction. What kind of personality and lifestyle would a person need to have in order to naturally fit into your life?

By answering these questions you can arrive at a clear description of your ideal partner, which makes it easier to attract him or her.

This is yet another area in which having a relationship coach can be very useful. I can help you find clarity in whom you want to attract and where such a person may spend his or her time.

10. Here is a simple recipe for attracting your ideal partner:

* Get complete with your past (see Step #1)
* Create a list of your ideal partner qualities (see Step #9)
* Ask yourself if you feel any other internal blocks preventing you from having a relationship. Clear them out of the way, by yourself or by getting help from me.

Use these personal development steps to attract your ideal relationship. These are the only steps you need to take, and the only steps that consistently work for creating relationships - or anything else you may want.

Your Relationship Coach,
Rinatta Paries
www.WhatItTakes.com

(c) Rinatta Paries, 1998-2002. Do you know how to attract your ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling relationship, or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries can teach you the skills and techniques to attract and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit www.WhatItTakes.com where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice and a free weekly ezine. Become a "true love magnet(tm)!"