Martial arts training teaches your mind and body to work together and your body to work as a single instrument to deliver a powerful blow. These teachings extend to negotiation skills, too. If your mind is scattered, you can't negotiate well. If your organization doesn't speak with a united voice, you can't negotiate well. Even incremental steps can make you a stronger negotiator.
Kung fu masters have come up with many teachings that sound poetic but are extremely practical. For instance, people who practice Chen style tai chi say, "Don't hit. Kick with your hands": have a complete connection between your sole and your fist. It goes along with a Yang style tai chi saying that is a bit more explanatory: "All movement is rooted in the feet, controlled through the waist and expressed in the hands," or one of the core principles of every style of tai chi, "If one part of me is moving, all parts of me are moving. If one part of me is still, all parts of me are still." The endless hours of horse stance practice from external martial arts styles and standing qigong (zhan zhuang) from internal styles are not just to make one's legs stronger and alignment better, but also to teach students to feel the connection between all parts of their bodies, how extra tension in the calves translates to imbalance that makes them hold their shoulders more tightly and painfully. The training even reaches further inside the student's body, teaching him to breathe with more coordination, as in the "microcosmic orbit" breathing from the external styles or "back breathing" from the internal styles. Some Ba Gua students even claim to be able to control the operation of their internal organs. To these students, everything must work together, even, ultimately, autonomic function.
If you are negotiating with someone and your mind is spinning in a million directions, your distraction provides an opening for your counterparty to step in. Your arguments are not cogent. You do not project calm confidence. You forget facts and mix up conversations. Your constant retreats to your phone screen signal disrespect. While it is wrong to see the outcome of every discussion as either win or lose, if you are scattered, you are setting yourself up to lose. Do not be like the tai chi student who merely waves her hands around without the internal connections, whom the masters describe as "scattered and confused." It is not a new age concept to learn to focus better!
Similarly, if you are speaking on behalf of someone else - whether it is your company, your employer or a client - it is your responsibility to make sure that the chain of communication and decision making reaches as far back as it has to. That way, you speak with the strength of the whole rather than just for yourself. If a company can say, "We hear you, but after consideration this is how the Board has decided to go," it has much more strength than, "I'm not sure, but I don't think we can do that." All the parts of the organization should work together, or else, like the student struggling in a horse stance, some part is going to start complaining.
Realistically, this sort of integration and coordination is more an aspiration than a requirement. No person is focused all the time and no organizations work coherently all the time. As calm and grounded as you may feel on Tuesday, by Wednesday things may change. However, if you mirror the kung fu master, who finds something to improve every time he practices, the effort will pay off. In the meantime, like the student holding an uncomfortable position, find ways to strengthen the situation. Work on communications within your company and lobby your boss to get buy-in at all levels on your issue. Learn to use interpersonal cues to look like you are focused and attentive, and it will strengthen your connections. Take up yoga, tai chi, other martial arts or something that connects your movements. These small steps add up.
Book Review: Research of Martial Arts, by Jonathan Bluestein
A review of Research of Martial Arts, a book by Sifu Jonathan Bluestein
What Happens to Client Files When a Collaborative Case Fails: The Massachusetts Rule for Lawyers
Collaborative Law is a great tool for parties to resolve legal conflicts without going to court. Sometimes, though, even with the best intentions and most professional team, the parties are not able to reach a resolution. When that happens, there has been some confusion among lawyers as to which pieces of the client's file they need to turn over to successor counsel. This article explains the rule in Massachusetts.
Kung Fu Negotiation Tactics: The Multi-Level Attack
One martial arts tactic that translates well to litigation and other high conflict, win or lose situations is the multi-level attack. A negotiator can use it too, but if the relationship between the parties is important it can backfire and inflame tensions. The multi-level attack relies on the fact that people have trouble keeping their attention on more than one dangerous stimulus at a time. Attack in two places and one is likely to land.
