Proactivity is Critical When Providing Training Using Handling Difficult People Training Materials

Some people are difficult. You feel they are overwhelming, somewhat annoying and you would rather not deal with these people. The reality is that, like it or not, from time to time you might be confronted with someone who proves to be troublesome. The right way to approach it is not to dismiss it or avoid it, but to learn how to handle it. This article provides a number of guidelines on conflict management and how to handle difficult people.

A Proactive Approach

It is easy to blame someone as soon as we discover that something is wrong or we don’t like their approach. By constantly blaming others you risk missing the obvious and would develop into an unpleasant know-it-all character where everyone would rather stay away from. This also stops you from developing and improving.

The first step when confronted with something you don’t like is to ask yourself if “you” were to blame. Always aim to be proactive which means you need to assume it is your fault so you can observe your own behaviour and take steps to improve it. Consider the following:

• Do you listen to the statement or are you busy planning? Are you more focused on what to say next as a rebuttal rather than really listening to what the other person is saying?
• Do you react immediately when you feel you are threatened? What happens if you slow down next time? May be you are not under attack and you just thought you have been challenged. Ask yourself if your reaction is justified. On the other hand, suppose the person is indeed attacking you, did you consider the option of not reacting and instead ignoring the person deliberately? You can achieve both of these if you simply allow yourself time to think rather than immediately reacting as soon as you feel you have been attacked, simply because you cannot to be too sure.
• Are you sure you understood the person well? Do you ever ask the other person to repeat himself, especially when what you heard felt like an attack? May be you misunderstood. Even when you think you have understood, do you ever present it in your own words and check with the other person to make sure you did not misunderstand?
• Are you open to new ideas? Do you accept that others can sometimes come up with better solutions than you and suggest better methods? Do you ever allow them to state what’s on their mind before imposing your own ideas?
• Do you ever pause? Do you ask for time to think before you can come back with an appropriate response?
• Do you know your own strengths and weaknesses? Do you know where you stand? Are you willing to think positively about the situation?

As you can see, a great way to approach the problem of handling difficult people is to centre your attention on yourself rather than the other person. Time and again you may see that a proactive approach can significantly come to resolve the issue and in fact come to strengthen your relationship with the other person rather than weakening it.

Handling difficult people is an inter-personal skill and a great way to master it is by going through interactive exercises with others and test yourself using conflict management scenarios and case studies. To do this, you can attend a course on conflict management or handling difficult people and train yourself under supervision of a soft skills trainer. Alternatively, if you are in charge of your staff, you can setup a corporate training course for them.