Referrals are Our Lifeblood. Here's How to Get Them.

I'm a coach. I'm not in it to see if I like it, or how much I can make how fast, or because it's the latest fad. I'm in it because it's my profession. I love my work and I'm in it for the long haul. It took years to learn the skills and build the practice base and my product is people's lives. Therefore, I take it seriously. When I refer someone to someone else for professional services, this is going to have repercussions for me and my practice. At the same time, my practice depends upon referrals.

Referrals are my lifeblood. Here's what I've learned about them.

1. Ask for them outright. Explain what you do and say you'd like referrals. That's all you have to do. Ah, but ... What if I were to ask you right here and now to refer clients to me. "I'm a personal and professional growth coach. I'm accepting new clients and I'd like you to refer your chiropractic patients to me. My bio's at the bottom of this article." Would you do it? Of course not. Your whole chiropractic practice is built on how your patients perceive you, and if you refer them to an idiot, it reflects on you. (Old drinking song: "You can tell a man who boozes by the company he chooses...") Until you're sure I know what I'm doing, and that I'll treat your patients right, you aren't going to do it. Your practice is too important to you.

2. You have to do the courtship before you pop the question. It takes time. First you have to build your reputation and build it carefully by providing excellent service. When you're good at what you do, and know it, asking for referrals is second nature. Occasions will arise where it's the natural thing to do, i.e., "You know, I could help Frederic with that. That's exactly what I do. Why don't you have him call me at XXXX." You also have to have let the other person get to know you enough to trust you.

3. Create an atmosphere where referrals can occur. People refer people to people they like and trust. This means getting out and about, talking with respect about what you do and about the clients you work with, and letting other people see who you are. Join the Chamber, go to seminars, Rotary, work out at the health spa, attend the symphony, but these aren't just social events. When you're in a profession, you ARE the product. It's possible to be rude and irresponsible in your social life and be a good surgeon, but people won't see it that way. It's possible to get drunk at a party and harrass members of the opposite sex and still be a good coach, but people won't see it that way. It's possible to be late for lunch, forget names and abuse the waiter and be a good accountant, but it isn't probable. Be who you are when you're out, but be the professional who you are.

4. Basically you aren't going to get them until you don't need them. That's one of those things in life. If you're desperate for clients (or anything else), you'll drive it away. People can sense it. I was helping someone write a grant and their reason was "because we're desperate for money." That's a reason why they want the money; it isn't a reason why someone should give it to them. The same applies for referrals.

5. What's in it for me? It's not about you. There are a few good-hearted souls who just go about helping other people, but not many. Everyone else is thinking of the benefits, risks, and repercussions. If someone refers someone to you, what will they get?

6. What could they get? Here's something I got when I referred a client to another coach for a service I don't provide: the client I referred was treated so wonderfully, I received rave e-mail for days from the client. It strengthened my credibility and relationship with my client, who then went on to refer others to me.

7. Here's something else I could possibly get. You know how the new hairdresser asks you who on earth cut your hair that way? Don't badmouth the person who refers. If they aren't good, you shouldn't be referring with them. If they are good, say so. Don't try to steal their client. Use your emotional intelligence and stay in the loop.

8. To get referrals, give referrals. That's how I got started. I have a free drawing on my website and there's only one winner a month. I refer the ones who don't win to coaches who need pro bono clients to work with. In that way I build relationships with others who're in a position to refer to me somewhere down the line. I refer for other reasons, and sometimes for no reason at all except to refer.

9. Premiums, reciprocal arrangements, referral fees. These are ethical in some fields and not in others. If you can, use them. Offer referral fees. Gives gifts and premiums. Most of all, give thanks! If you can't, discount your services, give extra sessions, keep your core group at their original hourly fee when you raise your rates and let them know.

Support possible referral sources in their endeavors--donate a door prize for the seminar they're giving, offer to invite some of your clients to it, do a joint-presentation where the other person can see you at work, point out (to a vendor) that if your practice/company builds, you'll be buying more X, Y Z from them. Let them get to know you and your work product, and then suggest referrals. There will be plenty of opportunity over time for the topic to come up. If it doesn't, bring it up.

Strike while the iron is hot. A good time to ask for referrals is right after you've delivered a good product or service.

Carry backup materials with you at all times--business cards, flyers, and brochures that describe all the things you do and give contact information.

The major problem is few of us understand fully what another person outside our field does, and your major task it to find ways to bring up the range of things that you can do for someone. To do this properly you need time with the other person. Therefore build a relationship so you'll be around them enough to do that.

10. When someone refers someone to you, it isn't over, it's just begun. When someone refers a client to me, within the bounds of confidentiality, I keep the referring person informed. I write or call them to say the contact has been made and that I appreciate the referral. I inform them of stages in the process, with the client's permission, i.e., "I've scheduled Carmen to take the StrengthsFinders profile," or "Carmen and I will meet on ____." I let people who refer others to me know how much I appreciate it. I always call them and ask them if their client/friend/spouse/business partner was pleased with my services. I ask them for more referrals.

Done right it's a slow process of integrity and good services. It can easily take a year for someone else to feel confident in referring someone to you. It builds slowly but once it reaches the tipping point, it's exponential.

Be sure to let other people know when you've referred people to them, because the contact is not always made. I call the other person or email them and let them know I've referred so-and-so to them.

One way you can hone your skills at making these connections is to work with a coach. There's an art to getting referrals.