Being assertive is not just about expressing your rights; it is also about increasing the efficiency of your communication with others. This article explores a number of ways you can express yourself to achieve this aim. A few useful sentence formulations are suggested to help you express yourself assertively and increase your confidence in dealing with potentially aggressive people.
Being assertive is not just about expressing your rights; it is also about increasing the efficiency of your communication with others. There are a number of ways you can express yourself to achieve this aim. This article suggests a few useful sentence formulations to help you express yourself assertively and increase your confidence in dealing with potentially aggressive people.
Assertive behaviour sits between aggressive and passive behaviour. When some people are criticised, they say nothing or feel intimidated to speak up. This is the passive behaviour. In contrast, some people react strongly and emotionally, become angry and loud or even insulting. This is the aggressive behaviour.
In other words, a lot of people give in to the criticism or react strongly without focusing on the message. Naturally, these behaviours are not optimal and do little to make the person feel better about themselves or others. Fortunately, there is a middle ground we can use which is known as assertiveness.
Sentence Formulation
To formulate your sentences in an assertive way, start your sentences using the following:
Guidelines on Assertive Communication
Fogging
A very useful technique is known as “fogging”. The idea is that when someone criticises you, you acknowledge something in their criticism that you agree with. However, you ignore the rest. For example:
Example
Lets’ go through an example. Consider the following scenario:
You have made plans to attend your best friend’s birthday party. Your boss asks you to stay over time and finish a job. You usually accept these last minute requests as you want to be in good terms with your boss, but tonight, you really have to go.
How would you respond to your boss?
Before reading further think of how you formulate your sentence. Ideally, you should respond assertively with confidence, calm and with adequate reasoning.
Possible Response:
“I understand that you want me to do the job. However I have already made arrangements for tonight and I really need to be somewhere else. I know how you feel about this job, so if it can wait till tomorrow, I am happy to stay overtime tomorrow to sort it out.”
Assertive communication is a skill that requires persistence and practice. You can master the art by attending Assertiveness Skills training. In addition, trainers can also use Assertiveness Skills Training Materials and courseware to setup courses on assertiveness and train others on this important behaviour.
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