Don’t Let Others Tell You of What You Are Capable

As I have stated often in the past I am a spectator sports fan.  This time of the year is always a fun time for me with the start of a new baseball season.  I’ve been a fan since I have been eight years old, and look forward to each new season with anticipation.

It is common when a new season starts, or when a major sporting event takes place, for many to make predictions as to what will happen as to the outcome long before the first game is even played or a season starts.  Often these predictions are made with a great deal of conviction on the part of the one making the forecast.  Their language and phraseology will be completely disparaging, particularly toward those teams that they feel will not do well.  I was contemplating this recently and found it disturbed me a great deal.  When I questioned myself as to why, I came to the realization that this type of behavior is exactly the opposite of what it is when I work with my clients.  In a coaching relationship, the focus is always on looking toward whatever steps need to be taken to make the client be as successful as possible in terms of what they are looking to achieve.   Yes, they may start out with not all the prerequisites they need in achieving what it is they are looking to accomplish.  But to completely disparage them before the process has even began, that is just not a coach’s style.I’ve worked with some very inspirational clients during my time as a coach.  I have found them to be very driven individuals.  In a number of instances they have told me that one of the things that have pushed them forward has been being told they would not amount to anything when they were younger.  I always have a “twinge” when I hear that, particularly when they tell me the person who said this to them may have been a parent, or a close relative or a school guidance counselor.  We all learn and develop at a different pace.  For some it takes longer to find what it is about that which they are passionate.  And, frankly there are different definitions of what it is to be “successful” for each of us.  For some, success is best measured in doing an activity they love and being able to work at it on a daily basis and serve those with whom they work.  For others, it may mean becoming the recognized “best” in their profession.  For still others it may mean having the freedom to enjoy a variety of different activities and be able to spend their time devoting a portion of their life to each activity which gives them enjoyment.

If you feel frustrated by where you are presently in your life, take the time to ask yourself the following.   By whose standards are you measuring yourself?   If it is by standards set for you by another, or in comparison to another, is that truly the benchmark upon which you want to measure yourself?  Or do you know deep inside what it is that will make you feel truly fulfilled.  It is easy to get caught up in other people’s expectations.  Those expectations are being offered all around us.  However, when one is making judgments for and about you, particularly when you have either not yet begun “to play the game” or the game is still a “work in progress”, well that’s just not right.  Leave the predictions to the prognosticators and enjoy your life against your own standards.