How to Give a Compliment

We all hear about the importance of compliments and how paying a person a compliment will make that person feel good and help us bond with them.

In practice, things are not that simple though. It’s not important to just give compliments; it’s also important how you give them and when you give them. Most compliments people give are inauthentic and trite, and they do little good.

What you want is to master the subtle art of giving compliments. Here are some of the most important ideas to put into practice when you compliment someone.

1. Make it honest. In my mind, the only good compliments are honest ones.

Sure, you can tell a woman that she looks lovely in a certain dress, even if she obviously looks ridiculous in it and you know it, but what will happen when everybody else tells her the dress looks ridiculous on her? She’ll either think you have very weird tastes or realize that you gave her a dishonest compliment.

2. Make it unique. If you can point out something positive that nobody else sees at a person, you are definitely scoring a lot of points. Always try to look beyond the surface and discover the deeper things about a person.

For example, don’t tell a very hot woman that she’s hot; everybody tells her that. Instead, if you realize she’s imaginative, pay her that compliment. It will truly electrify her.

3. Make it spontaneous. A preplanned and well ruminated compliment rarely works. It comes across as fake and inappropriate, and you come across as needing the other person’s approval a bit too much.

The best thing you can do is pay a compliment the moment you notice a certain positive thing about another person. Don’t think too much about it. Once you’ve realized it’s there, point it out. It seems a lot more natural and it’s more credible.

Eventually, as you put into practice simple tricks such as the ones above, you’ll learn how to give a compliment and you’ll become a master at it.