How to Make People Like You... Fast!

The Art of Building Rapport

Nicholas Boothman's book, How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less, offers insights into creating authentic social connections. The key is building rapport, which Boothman defines as "harmonious or sympathetic communication." The goal is to make others feel comfortable and familiar, as if they've known you for a long time.

Why 90 Seconds?

• First Impressions Matter: Research shows that people form opinions within the first 90 seconds of meeting someone. A strong first impression is crucial. Source: Forbes

Practical Tips for Building Rapport

1. Know What You Want

• Set Clear Objectives: Before engaging, know what you want from the interaction. This clarity will guide your communication.

2. Find Out What You're Getting

• Read the Room: Pay attention to verbal and non-verbal cues. Are they engaged? Adjust your approach based on their responses.

3. Change What You Do

• Adapt and Adjust: If your initial approach isn't working, be flexible. Try different tactics until you achieve your desired outcome.

Handshake Energy

• Be Mindful: Your handshake should be warm and friendly. Avoid being distracted or impatient, as people can sense your attitude.

Adopt a Useful Attitude

• Stay Positive: Approach situations with a helpful attitude. For instance, if you miss a flight, being kind to the airline staff can lead to better assistance.

Ensure Congruity

• Align Your Communication: Match your words, tone, and body language. If you express happiness, ensure your facial expressions and gestures reflect it.

Communication Breakdown

• Words: 7%
• Tone of Voice: 38%
• Body Language: 55% Source: Albert Mehrabian's Communication Model

Different Perspectives on Rapport

Perspective 1: The Psychological Angle

• Cognitive Bias: People tend to like those who are similar to them. Highlight common interests to create a sense of familiarity.

Perspective 2: The Social Dynamics

• Social Proof: People are influenced by the opinions of others. If you come across as likable to one person, others are likely to follow suit.

Conclusion

Building rapport quickly is a skill that can be honed with practice. By being mindful of your communication style and adopting a positive attitude, you can make meaningful connections effortlessly. With these strategies, you'll be well on your way to becoming a master of first impressions.