How to Spot a Lying or Married Date: Part I

Trust Your Instincts

• Gut Feelings Matter: If something feels off, it probably is. Trust your instincts when they tell you something isn't right.
• Statistics on Infidelity: Studies show that 45-55% of married women and 50-60% of married men have extramarital affairs (Atwood & Schwartz, 2002, Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy). This suggests that many people may not be upfront about their marital status.

Signs Your Date Might Be Lying

The American Polygraph Association and the American Psychiatric Association suggest these behaviors might indicate dishonesty:

• Avoiding Eye Contact: They look away, especially up and to the left.
• Voice Changes: Noticeable pitch changes or fidgeting can indicate stress.
• Hesitation: Pausing before answering might mean they're crafting a response.
• Body Language: Turning away or sweating can be signs of discomfort.
• Overly Detailed Responses: Providing too much information can be a red flag.
• Inconsistent Stories: Discrepancies in their narrative are telling.
• Rapid Speech: Speaking quickly or blushing can indicate lying.

Conducting a Background Check

Steps to Verify Your Date's Background

1. Check for Sex Offender Status: Use resources like the National Sex Offender Public Website to ensure your date isn't a registered offender.
2. Criminal Records Search: For around $10, you can access nationwide criminal records. This can reveal any legal issues your date might have.
3. Verify Marital Status: Investigate if your date is married, divorced, or involved in lawsuits. This can often be done through public records or online databases.

Different Perspectives

Skeptical View

• Privacy Concerns: Some argue that conducting background checks infringes on privacy and trust should be built naturally.
• False Positives: Misinterpretation of body language can lead to false assumptions about dishonesty.

Cautious Approach

• Safety First: Prioritizing personal safety justifies the need for background checks, especially in online dating scenarios.
• Informed Decisions: Knowing more about your date helps make informed choices about continuing the relationship.

Interesting Stats

• Online Dating Risks: Approximately 10% of sex offenders use online dating sites to meet potential victims (Match.com).
• Identity Misrepresentation: Around 53% of people lie on their online dating profiles (Psychology Today).

For more insights on identifying deceitful dates, check out Part 2 of How to Spot a Lying or Married Date.

By staying informed and vigilant, you can protect yourself from undesirable dating experiences.